First Kiss
by Irish American 67
Summary: A collection of one-shots I wrote. Contains mostly Fuffy, but a little Fillow and Fawn thrown in there as well.
1. Fuffy 1

First Kiss

A series of Faith related BtVS one-shots. Mostly "Fuffy", a little "Fawn" and "Fillow". I own nothing.

**One**

It hurt to be around her. Seriously, it _really_ hurt to be around her. Every time Faith caught a glimpse of her hair, saw a bat of her eyelids, watched a bead of sweat roll down her face and onto her chest, it felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Her breath caught in her throat and her stomach flipped upside-down and twisted around.

Watching Buffy train right now was like dying. The way her body moved caused Faith's throat to close and her mouth go dry. She was seeing stars. It took every ounce of control Faith had not to throw herself at Buffy and attack her lips visciously, hungrily. Yes, Faith Lehane, whose lifetime motto had been "get some, get gone." (well, that's one of her mottos), had fallen in love with the one person she knew she couldn't have. The one person who still hated her.

Giles, Xander, Willow, Angel, they had all forgiven her already, and she tried to kill them all. The former-Potentials had never hated her at all, because they didn't truly understand what she'd done. But Buffy... Buffy wouldn't lose a second of sleep if Faith dropped down dead right now. And Faith was truly and hopelessly in love with her.

She couldn't hold it in any longer. She had to tell her.

"Hey, B. Need to talk to ya for a minute."

"Fine." Buffy replied, like Faith was just a nuissance, yet even Buffy's voice nearly sent Faith over the edge. "What is it? Trouble with the troops?"

"No. This is more... about me."

"Oh? What's going on?"

"I...I'm leaving."

That took Buffy by surprise.

"What?"

"I'm leaving. Sunny-D is gone. My apartment's gone, I don't have a single thing holding me here. Kinda need to move on, forget it happened. Start a new chapter."

"Where will you go? Back to Angel?"

"I don't know. But I do know one thing. That's one place I'm _not_ going. I'm leaving Cali behind. Don't plan on coming back. Maybe I'll even leave the country. I'm a fugitive, so maybe a place with no extradition. Switzerland, maybe?"

"Why not stay with us? It's not like we're going back to Sunnydale. There's not even a sign there that says "Welcome to Sunnydale" anymore."

"Well, you know what I've done to you Scoobies. I mean, sure, tryin' for redemption and all, but I can't just make it all go away."

"Well, it's not like we're holding it against you. You helped beat back the First. Way I see it, you've earned our trust again. Just don't lose it again."

"You do."

"What?"

"You hold it against me. The things I've done. Sure, I helped out a bit, but you still hate me. I get it. I'm not mad. Just got my hopes up, is all. I won't stay here if even one of you guys hates me. The Scoobies, I mean. I honestly couldn't care less if any of the newbies doesn't like me. But you guys are the only family I've ever known, so I can't stand knowin' that you hate me."

"I don't hate you. I don't mean it to seem that way, I'm just... a bit emotional, that's all. Sunnydale was my home. It's where I finally accepted being the Slayer. I died there. Twice. I fell in love in Sunnydale. Twice. I found Willow, and Xander, and Giles there. I met Angel there. I met Anya and Tara and Oz there. I stopped... I don't even know how many apocalypses there. When I came to Sunnydale, I wasn't one of those popular "Homecoming Queen" types of girls anymore, and I was actually relieved about that. I was free to be me. I was at my peak and my lowest points here. I lost mom, found Dawn, though I didn't know that I'd never met her before. I lost Tara, and Anya, almost lost Willow, I lost Angel, and found him again, and I watched Spike burn before my eyes in Sunnydale. It was my home, and now it's gone." Tears were glistening in Buffy's eyes that nearly killed Faith. But one thing stuck out.

"What about me?"

"What?"

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"You didn't mention me. I mean, I bet it sounds a bit narcissisistic, but you didn't mention me. I thought I was a pretty big point in your life. I know you're a big one in mine."

"You are. Like I said, I'm a bit out of it right now. You _are_ a big point in my life. Both a good one and a bad. I'm not going to pretend you never tried to kill me and my family, but I'm not going to hold it against you, either. And if it ever seems like I am, I'm sorry."

"Well, doesn't matter, anyway. I'm leaving. I think Switzerland is a good idea."

"Faith? I thought..."

"You thought since we had this little heart to heart that I'd stay."

"A little."

"Well, even if you don't hate me, I still can't stand to be around you."

"What?!"

"No, it's not like that. It just... hurts."

"What do you mean?"

"I... I'm not the "talk about your feelings" type, B."

"Then just this once. Please. Tell me what you're talking about. How do I hurt you?"

Faith hesitated.

"Please." Buffy said again, putting her hand on Faith's shoulder, and her breath caught at the contact, which did not go unnoticed by Buffy.

"I won't hurt you." Buffy said reassuringly.

"I... I know you won't mean to. But you will, anyway. Not physically. It'll be worse than that. I couldn't handle the rejection, Buffy." Faith stopped talking immediately when she realised what she just said, and she knew Buffy had caught on.

"Faith...?"

Faith pulled away from Buffy and tried to run, but the blonde grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.

"You are _not_ running away from this. We are _going_ to talk about this."

"What's there to talk about?" Faith said, tears in her own eyes now. "I'm five-by-five, B."

"No, you're not. I can see it. Now, you don't have to say a word, just listen." Buffy let go, hoping Faith wouldn't run.

She didn't.

"Are you... I mean, do you... have... feelings? For me? I mean, are you... You're in love with me, aren't you?"

Faith didn't respond, other than turning away. She couldn't look at Buffy right now.

"You know, B." Faith said, choking up. "I probably could've handled Red, or Xan-man, or Giles hating me. Even Wood, and you know, he actually convinced me to take a chance on an actual relationship. With real feelings. Only, I didn't... don't want one with him. There's only one person I've ever been interested in like that."

"Faith..."

"But you... When I think that _you_ might hate my guts... It's because of you that I want to seek redemption. 'Cause I know that there's no chance now, but I know where you're goin' after. After you die. And it won't be to Hell. No, I know you're goin' somewhere else. Maybe this "heaven" place everyone's goin' on and on about actually exists, and if it does, I know that's where you're goin'. But the way things stand right now, the best _I_ can hope for is to go to some place undecided for all eternity. Waitin' on judgement, decidin' where I belong. But I want to redeem myself in the eyes of... whoever cares enough to watch me. That way, maybe I can get into wherever you're goin'. 'Cause maybe then... I'll have a chance."

"Faith..."

"'Cause I don't just want to follow that "get some, get gone" thing I always say. Not anymore. Not with you. If I ever get a chance, anyway. If I ever get a chance, I won't screw it up. 'Cause I love you... Buffy." It felt wierd, saying her full name, not just "B", but it was the only way she could show Buffy that she was serious.

"Faith..." Buffy said. Faith walked away, unable to look back. She went straight for the nearest bathroom, locked the door behind her, crawled into the bathtub and curled up into a ball, not trying to stop the tears.

Buffy knocked on the bathroom door when she heard Faith crying.

"Faith, open the door." Buffy said softly, then waited.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked as she walked by.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. Just Faith stuff." Willow nodded understandingly. After Willow brought Faith back to fight the First, Buffy told her all about how she felt about Faith.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"I... I'm not sure. But I think Faith might... you know." Buffy said, a small trace of a smile.

"Well, here's my fingers crossed!" Willow said excitedly, holding both hands up to show her index fingers and middle fingers intertwined.

"Thanks." Buffy said, then continued knocking as Willow walked, or rather, skipped away.

"Faith." Buffy said again, knocking.

"Faith." Buffy said again, knocking.

Faith wiped the tears away quickly, then climbed out of the tub. She unlocked the door and sat back down on the toilet seat, putting her face in her hands.

Buffy opened the door slowly, then walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Faith..." She said, kneeling down in front of Faith and putting her arms around her.

"B..." Faith said, trying to push Buffy away, but Buffy held on tighter.

"No, Faith. You're not pushing me away. Not anymore. Because I love you, too."

Faith's breath caught again, then pushed Buffy away just enough to look her in the eyes.

"That's not funny, B."

"Darn. Guess I'll have to cancel my set at the Laugh Factory."

Faith rolled her eyes, looking away slightly.

"It wasn't a joke, Faith. I love you. Have since I met you. It hurt me most of all when you... And then I stabbed you... And then there was the coma..." Now Buffy was in tears. "I'm sorry, Faith. I love you."

Faith pulled Buffy up to her face and kissed her gently. It was more like they brushed their lips together briefly, then Buffy pressed against Faith more, wrapping her arms around Faith's neck. Faith's tongue brushed against Buffy's lower lip, practically begging for more, and Buffy agreed, opening her mouth enough to accept Faith's tongue.

Their tongues slowly embraced each other as the two women kissed sweetly. They took it slow, not wanting to scare the other off, but they both soon wanted more.

Their kiss went from sweet and gentle to hungry and passionate in less than a minute.

When they finally broke apart for air, Faith's head was spinning.

"B..." Was all she could say. She tried to stand up, but she was too dizzy, so she stumbled and landed in the bathtub, taking Buffy with her.

"I love you, Buffy." Faith said when she finally was able to think again.

"I love you, too, Faith."


	2. Fuffy 2

**Two**

Buffy looked down at the body of the other Slayer, the only one who could ever understand what it was like, could ever understand Buffy. There had always been a bond there, ever since Faith first showed up in Sunnydale. She'd been here for months before going off the deep end and joining the Mayor, but it felt as though they only just met the day before. They hadn't had enough time.

Not enough time for Buffy to admit how she felt.

She'd finally made up her mind to tell Faith, but then the drama with Allan Finch happened, and Faith tried to run, then joined the Mayor. Buffy didn't have the chance, there was too much going on. Then, as if by some cruel trick of the Powers That Be, Buffy herself had to stab Faith. She thought she'd killed her. Then, the Powers decided to take the joke one step further, and let Faith survive, but put her in a coma,where Buffy could never be sure that Faith heard her when she told her, every day, "I love you".

Buffy visited Faith every day, hoping for some miracle that would let Faith recover and wake up. She was almost ready to give up hope when the Powers took mercy on her.

"Faith?" Buffy gasped, unsure of what she was seeing as Faith opened her eyes.

"Mmm?" Faith could only moan as she came back to consciousness for the first time in twelve long months.

"Faith!" Buffy gasped again, then threw herself over the edge of the bed and buried her face in the blankets, sobbing hysterically in relief.

Faith wasn't sure what was happening. She was blinded by a bright light all around. She heard a voice that sounded familiar, but couldn't quite recognize it, nor could she discern what the voice was saying. She felt something on her stomach, but she could barely move, so she couldn't brush it off. The thing was lifted off suddenly, and the voice grew louder. Faith could tell it was screaming.

She felt things poking and prodding at her, but was still too weak to do anything about it.

Maybe the Mayor could help her out. Then, something hit her. Memories. Memories like you sometimes have of something that happened during the night when you're asleep, a song that played on the radio that you'd never heard before, but that you now knew the words to anyway when you heard it during the day. They were out of focus, but they were there.

_"Faith, it's me, Buffy. B. I... I'm not sure if you can understand anything I'm saying, but, there's a few things you should know..."_

The memory stopped there and another one began.

_"Faith, um, I've been doing a bit of research, and what I've read says that, sometimes, coma victims wake up with little snippets of memory from when they were... asleep, so, I figured, maybe, the more times I say something to you, the more likely you'll remember me saying it, it might stick..."_

Again.

_"Um, here I go. Again, repeating it all, hoping you remember it. Um... Well, the Mayor..."_

_ "Failed. Graduation Day failed. We beat the Mayor..."_

_ "I don't know if you'll remember this, but I... kind of..."_

_ "It was for Angel. You tried to kill him. I didn't want to, and I hate myself for it, but..."_

_ "Needed him. He was important to my plan to beat..."_

_ "I hope you understand, Faith. I never wanted to hurt..."_

_ "Because I... I mean, I'm in..."_

_ "With you. You get that? I..."_

_ "You. You mean..."_

_ "To me, and I have nightmares..."_

_ "I'm so, so sorry, Faith..."_

_ "Wake up! Wake up, Faith!..."_

_ "Please! I need you!..."_

_ "I can't..."_

_ "Seeing you like this. It's too hard. Every time I come here, I end up screaming at you, and security has to drag me out. Heh. Imagine that. This time, I'm the violent one. I'm the one that needs to be thrown out. Well, anyway, just wanted you to know, I met someone. I'm going to college now. Met a guy. He's cute. You'd probably want to have one of your one-night stands with him. I don't love him, of course, but at least he's..."_

_ "Alive to the world. I mean, Riley's not, like, my one true or anything like that. I've told you enough times by now you should remember it when you wake up, but I still need to keep saying it, for my sake. I need hope that you'll wake up soon. I..."_

_ "Faith..."_

_ "Faith..."_

_ "Faith..."_

_ "I..."_

_ "Love..."_

_ "You..."_

_ "Well, here it is. It's been six months since I almost killed you. You've been asleep for half a year. I think... I'm not sure, I don't think you ever actually told me, but, I think you missed your birthday. I threw a party, anyway, just to be sure. I invited everyone, but only Angel showed up. Angel always had a soft spot for you. Guess he can kind of understand what you've gone through. He knows what it's like to be lost, and do bad things, and enjoy them at the time, but when you get your conscious back, it hurts, and you're disgusted with yourself. I choose to believe you'll be like that, that you'll get your conscious back and come back to me..."_

_ "I love you, Faith, but I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this every day. I cry myself to sleep every night, and wake up, and cry some more, because my dreams, have I told you about my dreams? Well, they're getting more and more real. It's like..."_

_ "Like you're actually there with me. Even when I wake up, I can feel your skin, your breath, your lips. Your blood. I'm so... aroused, yet disgusted, at the same time,because I know it's all my fault. I feel terrible for abandoning you, Faith, because I put you in this coma, but I need to at least try to move on. Riley's left the Initiative now, on account of a rampaging psychopathic killer demon hybrid thing that they cooked up. We're trying to figure out how to kill it. I know you could find a way. Just charge right in and rip its heart out, right? Hey, that might actually work. Maybe I'll give that a shot next time..."_

_ "Thanks for the insight, Faith, and sorry I haven't been around the past couple weeks. Couldn't work up the courage. Well, I tried what you suggested. I ripped out Adam's heart. Adam, that's the demon hybrid thing's name. Anyway, I ripped out his heart, and he died, so thanks. You actually helped me kill the next big bad. See, you're already earning redemption. So you can wake up now, promise I won't stab you again..."_

_ "I love you, Faith. This'll probably be the last time I come visit. I can't see you like this anymore, knowing it was me who did this to you. So let me just say it one more time: I love you. I'm in love with you..."_

_ "Well, I guess I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't keep coming, it was that I can't _stop_ coming. It's been a year since you went into this coma. I understand that you were tired, but I'm gonna start calling you Ms. Rip Van Winkle. Or is it "Wrinkle"? I don't know. You need to wake up, okay? Please."_

_ "Faith? Faith!"_

Her eyes came into focus. the poking and prodding had ended several minutes ago, and only now was she able to see anything clearly. She didn't bother looking around, instead choosing to reflect on what she remembered. The Mayor was dead. Graduation failed. Buffy stabbed her with her own knife.

Buffy... Buffy was in love with her...

_Why now?_ Faith thought. _Why couldn't she have said that before I killed Finch? Before I joined the Mayor. Before I betrayed them. Why did I have to go into a coma for her to say that? Why now? I swear, I'm gonna kill her the next time I see her._

"Faith? You awake?" Faith looked over to see Buffy sitting next to her bed. Her face and eyes were red. She's been crying.

"Did you mean it?" Faith asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Every word. Everything."

"Then... Then the stab?" Faith asked, her voice rising slightly, tears now streaming from her own eyes. "It was an accident?" She pleaded.

"No. I did it on purpose. To save Angel." Buffy was crying again, too.

"But... why? Why now?" Faith asked.

"I don't know." Buffy buried her face in Faith's blanket again, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. "What all do you remember?" She asked.

"Dead Mayor. No big worm demon. Met a guy. Riley. Initiative. Dead hybrid. Screaming. You loved me. Rip Van Winkle. Twelve months. Nightmares." Faith managed to sum up.

"It's all true. Except for the "I loved you" bit. I still love you. Never stopped."

"Stop." Faith said, closing her eyes. "You don't get to love me. You had that chance before Finch. Not anymore. You had from the time I met you to the time I killed a human being to love me. Anytime in there somewhere, we could have lived happily ever after. Not now. Now, it's too late."

Faith's words cut like knives, cutting deep into Buffy, each of them bringing another wave of tears and more cries of anguish. Especially the happily ever after part.

"You tried to gut me, B. If that had been an accident, like you were just trying to scare me or something, but lost your balance, that would be different. I might be able to forgive you for that. So tell me, was it an accident? Were you just saying it wasn't so I wouldn't think you were clumsy?"

Buffy hesitated. She was tempted to agree with Faith, saying it was all a mistake, but Buffy doesn't lie, and Faith would know it was a lie.

"No. It wasn't an accident." Buffy whispered, but Faith still heard her.

"B. Please. I love you to, please just tell me it was an accident. Lie to me. Please."

"No. I can't do that. I stabbed you. I did it consciously, to save Angel from the poison. Slayer's blood was the only antidote, and I tried to kill you so I could give him yours, but then you fell, and I couldn't get your body back, so it was for nothing. That's the worst part. I tried to kill you for a reason, and it was all for nothing. I ended up having to feed myself to him. He didn't kill me, though. That's obvious."

"Leave."

Buffy was startled. Faith even startled herself.

"What?"

"Leave."

"Faith..."

"Leave now. Just go. Go away. I don't want to see you anymore. Just go!"

"Faith..." Buffy sobbed, but refused to leave. Both of them were sobbing hysterically now.

Buffy wasn't able to control herself. Neither could Faith. Their lips suddenly met and they both stopped crying in surprise, but their lips had a mind of their own, and it wasn't long before their tongues started dancing in each other's mouths.

An attendant walked in at that moment, blushed, then walked away, leaving them in privacy.

An hour later, both Slayers were panting and smiling, unable to wipe the stupid grins off their faces. Buffy snuggled up close to Faith, draping her right arm over Faith's chest, her bare leg slipping in between Faith's own legs. Buffy's breasts pressed against Faith's shoulder and they both sighed in content.


	3. Fuffy 3

**Three**

"B, what the hell are you doing here?" Faith asked. They stood in the courtyard of a large all-female prison. Both of them wore a very unflattering orange, yet somehow, Faith pulled it off.

"Turns out, killing the Mayor of even a small town like Sunnydale is a criminal offense. Even if you do tell the entire courtroom that he wasn't human, that he was a demon. Of course, that might be why the judge tried to force me into the Loony Bin. It was all Giles could do to keep me away from the crazies and get me here instead. He had to call in a favor with the Watcher Council to get it done."

"So you confessed to killing the Mayor?" Faith asked incredulously. "Come on, B. You knew this would happen. The humans don't believe in demons, and the politicians certainly wouldn't be demons even if they did believe. You knew they'd try to have you committed, but the Watchers wouldn't let that happen, because you're not crazy, demons are real, so they'd just get you sent here instead. If I know you, and I think I do, you're just here to get me to try for redemption. Well, newsflash, I'm already here for redemption. I'm staying for redemption. I could bust outta here easy, no problems, but I'm not."

"Oh. Well, I guess I can leave, then."

"Wait! Where're ya goin', B?"

Buffy smirked. "The truth is, Faith, I figured you could use the company. Someone to talk to. Someone who understands. Plus..."

"Plus what?"

"I may or may not have accidentally killed a bunch of humans."

"What?!"

"Well, I suppose accident is a bit of a stretch. Meaning a lie. I knew exactly what I was doing."

"B, what the hell are you talking about?!"

"There were these scientist people, remember me telling you about the Initiative?"

"Vaguely."

"Well, they were building this vampire-slash-demon-slash-human-hybrid-thing in the basement, and it got loose and took over the Initiative. We went to help, and the soldier boys fought back, wouldn't let us help. So... I didn't actually kill anyone, but I didn't try to stop the hybrid from killing them either. After they were all dead, I did my job. I ripped out the thing's power core and it died. But someone called 911 because of loud noises, and we accidentally left the front door open, so the police found us. I did what I could to protect my friends. I knocked them out and stored them in a closet. The police arrested me, and I got the blame for the deaths of all those humans. So now I'm a mass murderer. Beat that, Faith." Buffy joked

"B. You're joking, right? You didn't let those humans die? You did try to fight back, didn't you?"

"Okay, yeah. I fought back, and I killed Adam, the hybrid, but the gang had to cast a spell for me to do it, so once the spell was over, they fell unconscious, and... Well, Adam had an army of demons with him, apparently, he was a good talker, the demons killed the humans, but, like you said, demons don't exist, so I got the blame."

"That sounds more like it. But still, thousands of prisons in the country, and you just happened to end up in mine?"

"Okay, I called in a favor of my own with the Council, they pulled some more strings, and they got me here specifically. But that's not the end of it. Looks like we're going to be roommates. Cellmates, whatever."

Faith groaned. She could handle being cellmates with anyone here. The gross, hairy lunch lady that picked her nose and sneezed on the slop they had to eat. The hot serial rapist that was so touchy-feely that the only way she could go outside was in a straightjacket. The lunatic from D that was always swimming in the empty pool. Even that female guard that took sexual favors in order to smuggle in some "items from home" like cigarettes or knives. One girl even got a rockhammer and went all Shawshank on her cell.

But Buffy Anne Summers? She was the one girl Faith didn't think she could handle being cell mates with.

"That's great, B."

"You don't sound so overjoyed."

"Well, I just... I don't need any reminders of home."

"Home?"

"Sunny-D. It's the only real home I've ever known. You'll just be a constant reminder of what I'm missing out on because I was too stupid to realise what a great deal I had goin' for me."

"Oh... I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it, B. It's happened, it's done, can't change it now. Just... Whatever, it's kinda brutal here, ya know? Might could do with some backup, anyway. Seems every day some girls tryin' to make me their bitch in the showers, even when they see what I did to the last girl. Maybe if they see I've got myself a bitch, they'll leave me alone. And if you wanna play the part, they might leave you alone, too."

"Wait, you want me to be your _bitch_?"

"Nah, just play the part. Nothin'll happen or anything, just an act. Just in front of everyone else."

"Fine. What'll I have to do?"

"I don't know, just, I guess you just do whatever I say. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea anyway, seein' as I've been here longer. I pretty much know how this place runs."

"Okay. And everyone will just assume I'm your bitch?" Buffy didn't sound thrilled, but in truth, the idea of being at Faith's mercy like that excited her immensely.

"Well, maybe not at first. At first, we'll probably have to get down and dirty for a while before people start catchin' on. But in this place, you're either a bitch or a mistress, and I don't aim to be somebody's bitch. And I get the feeling you'd rather end up pretendin' to be my bitch than actually being someone else's."

"True." Buffy's throat was closing up, and when she looked into Faith's eyes, she swore she could see Faith enjoying this very much, yet they both kept their cool.

That night, in the showers, Buffy and Faith stuck close together, watching each other's back, as well as to keep up the act. But even so, the other inmates were circling them like vultures, waiting for one of them to falter so they could swoop in for the meal.

"Faith, six o' clock." Buffy whispered, and Faith whipped around, kicking one woman in the stomach with a powerful roundhouse as she stepped forward, trying to take Faith.

"Everyone better back the hell off, unless you want to end up like Miss Early-Bird-Didn't-Get-The-Worm over here." Faith said, motioning to the one on the ground, clutching her stomach and gasping. "Besides... I'm currently in a bit of an engagement already." Faith said, grabbing Buffy's hair and yanking her towards her. Faith's eyes were apologetic, but she didn't show it on the rest of her face as she invaded Buffy's mouth with her tongue, then pushed her away.

No one backed off, but they didn't come forward, either.

_Looks like it'll take a bit more to convince them._ Faith thought, then looked back at Buffy. Buffy's nod was barely noticeable. Only Faith's well trained eyes could have possibly seen it.

She stepped up, grabbed Buffy's hair again and forced her to her knees in front of her. Faith pushed Buffy's head between her legs and instantly felt Buffy catch on, her tongue sliding between her already wet folds, both from the showers, and arousal. She could definitely have fun with Buffy this way, but she was trying for redemption.

Nobody backed off, though it seemed more like they were just getting off on it now, not just challenging them.

It wasn't long before Faith had her climax, and, to keep up the act, held Buffy's mouth together, forcing her to swallow, though she didn't really need to be forced.

Finally, the others took the hint and left. Faith and Buffy hurried through their shower and got back to their cell as quickly as they could.

"B, I'm so sorry for that back there. They wouldn't back down until they saw the finish. I had to act like I owned you." Faith's apology was sincere, and Buffy sensed that.

"It's okay. If it means I won't have to beat anyone up, it's all good. I really don't mind."

"Damn, this would be so much easier if you were gay." Faith sat down on the lower bunk, burying her face in her hands with a sigh.

_Should I...?_ Buffy asked herself. _Maybe it would help._

Buffy walked over to Faith and squatted down in front of her. She lifted Faith's head to look her in the eyes.

"I'm not gay, Faith." She said.

"Hello, I know that. I remember Angel."

"Just listen. I'm not gay. There's never been any other girl I've ever been attracted to."

"'Any other'?" Faith asked."You mean...?" There was a hint of hope in her voice that lifted Buffy's spirits a bit.

"Yeah. I... I like you, Faith. A lot."

"B... You better not be fucking jokin' with me."

"No. No jokiness. I'm serious. I'm in like with you."

"B... Don't take this the wrong way, but I just want you to know that this is nothing but an act, got it? I'm straight. I like guys, no girls. No exceptions. You likin' me like that'll help with the act, but that's it, got it?"

Her words stung Buffy, but she knew there was no truth in them. They both knew there was no truth in them. But Faith wasn't ready to accept that part of herself, not yet.

"Right. Got it." Buffy agreed, hoping Faith would come around soon. "I'm just your bitch."

"No, you're pretendin' to be my bitch."

"Right. That's what I mean."

"Good."

"Good."

"Glad we got that cleared up."

"Glad I could help."

"Good night." Faith crawled up to the top bunk and tried to go to sleep, but Buffy fell asleep faster, and Faith just laid there, enjoying the soft sound of Buffy's breathing.


	4. Fillow 1

**Four**

"Look, Red, all I was saying is B needs to chill out, okay? I ain't no leader." Faith grumbled as she paced back and forth in Buffy's room. Willow was sitting on the bed, watching.

"Buffy's been going crazy with everything, Faith. No one wants to listen to her anymore, because we're not getting anything done and we keep losing Potentials. We need to make some headway if we're going to have any chance of beating the First. You can help us with that. Buffy just keeps telling everyone what to do."

"That's kinda what bein' a leader is. She's, like, the general, or something. It's her job to tell us what to do. I just thought she should cool down or something, take five or something. I didn't want to be the new leader or anything like that."

"I know, but, I think it'll be better this way."

"You know, I've been watching a lot of movies lately."

"What?"

"Those Potentials are still just girls. Immature. Teenagers. You know what teenagers do, Red?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Just answer the question. You know what teenagers, especially girls, do?"

"Um... no?"

"They rebel. Against their parents, teachers, whatever. They're rebellious. B's a great leader. She's lead you guys out of who knows how many jams, and she always comes out on top, bringing you ungrateful jerks with her. She never lets anything happen to any of you. Sure, Xander lost an eye. But that's the first time anything bad has ever really happened to any of you before under her watch. Sure, you went evil, but that's on you, not her. Now that there's a million other little girls around here, who are in the middle of their rebellious stage, all of a sudden B's no good anymore? She doesn't know what you're up against? I'm sorry, but I think she's the only one here who _does_ know what you're up against.

"I've heard all of the stories of what you've gone through together, and unless I'm mistaken, it was Buffy who actually died fighting the Master, then came back and impaled him on a broken table leg or something. Buffy's the one that beat that god bitch to a pulp with a big ass hammer and then killed herself again to save you all. She's the one that ripped the hybrid thing's heart out, and had to kill the love of her life to save the world. She's the one that managed to keep those other two nerds away from you long enough for Xander to save you. She's the one that blew that Judge demon guy to bits with a rocket launcher. Sure, you've done a few spells, helped her out, but she's the one that fought all of those guys and won, not you.

"So who the hell are you to say she doesn't know what we're up against, to say I'd make a better leader than her? Who the hell are you to side with a bunch of rebellious teenagers who'll say or do anything because they're scared?" Faith was angry. Willow could sense the anger, but Faith kept a cool face about it.

"Faith, I get what you're saying, I do, but-"

"Do you? Okay, let's compare. I already said everything B's done. So what about me? I staked a vamp my first day in Sunny-D and introduced myself. I went on patrol with B a few times, and the only time I tried to take charge of anything, I tried to get B to be a "bad girl" like me, and ended up killing a human. I betrayed you guys, joined the Mayor, helped him become a demon, tried to kill allof you, then took an eight month long nap. I wake up, try to kill you all again, switch bodies with B, try to get her to take the fall for my crimes. That fails, so I run away, and end up in prison until some Giles wannabe busts me out because Angel's gone and lost his soul again, and B's busy with an apocalypse or something, so he has me help out getting Angel's soul back. Next thing I know, I'm back in Sunny-D, watching you guys mutiny against B because she made a mistake."

"But-"

"No. No buts. You know I'm right. Besides, I don't really belong here. I'll help fight the First, 'cause I think you're gonna need all the help you can get, but then that's it. I'm gone. I don't fit in. Couldn't even if I tried. You guys won't really need me anymore, so I'll just go do my own thing."

"We'll need you. Of course we'll need you." Willow said comfortingly.

"Nah, it's okay. You don't need to do that. I know. No one really wants me here, I'm just convenient. I get it, and I'm okay with that."

"But I _do_ need you!"

Faith paused.

"I mean, _we_ need you. Not just me specifically, we, as in... we... us. You're needed by us. I obviously don't mean _I_ need you because, hello, girlfriend, but we do, and will, need you."

"Red?"

"Okay, okay! So, you have some qualities that men, and lesbians, might find very... arousing. And sexy. But I have a girlfriend, so how dare you hit on me like this?!"

"Red."

"And stop calling me that! It's a cute couple-y nickname that's very inappropriate because of the girlfriend that I have, and my name's Willow!"

"Re- Willow." Faith smirked.

"Fine! I admit it. I... I find you attractive, and I may... or may not... have nightly fantasies about your body with... nakedness."

"Huh."

"What?"

"That's wierd."

"What?! How can you say that? It's very demeaning, and insulting, and... put-downing."

"No, I mean it's wierd that I'm not wierded out by that or anything."

"Oh. You're not?"

"Nah. Huh. Never really knew about that before. Guess it explains why I've never really taken an interest in any guys. Sure I'll roll around in the sack with 'em, but never really _liked_ any of 'em. Never really thought about girls, though."

"Faith. Can I... can I try something?"

"Eh, sure. Why not? Lay it on me, Red."

"Lay what on you?"

"Kiss me. You know you want to."

"Oh. Right. My mind was... elsewhere." Willow stood up and walked over to Faith. She stepped up on the tips of her toes so she could reach, and kissed her.

The kiss was over as quick as it had begun.

"Hmm. That was wierd." Faith said.

"Wierd good, or wierd bad?"

"Just wierd. It just... didn't seem right."

"Oh, good. You too, then. Should we, try again? It might have just been nerves."

"Sure." This time, Faith bent down to kiss the other woman. It was slow this time, their lips caressed each other gently. As they continued, Willow fell backwards on the bed, unaware that they'd been moving in that general direction. Suddenly, she had Faith's body weight on top of her, kissing her hungrily, and she was kissing back.

She tried to think, tried to tell herself to slow down, tell herself that she had a girlfriend, and this was wrong, but the conversation went something like this:

"Kiss?"

"Kiss."

"Kiss?"

"Tongue. Lips. Kiss."

"Kenne... Kiss?"

"Kiss."

"Faith..."

"Kiss Faith."

By the time the "conversation" was over, Faith had stripped Willow of her shirt, and was palming her breasts through her bra, causing Willow to moan into the continuing kiss.

Willow slowly slid Faith's shirt off of her torso as well, discovering Faith's lack of a bra, and so removed her own, their hardened nipples pressing together hard as they pulled each other closer and closer, their bodies nearly fusing together.

Sometime in the next ten minutes, Willow's skirt, shoes and socks were tossed across the room, along with Faith's pants and combat boots, leaving both women in nothing but panties.

Faith's left leg was in between Willow's legs, as Willow's right legs was placed between Faith's, so they were straddling each other's hips and grinding against the bone.

They moaned repeatedly against each other's lips as they ground harder and harder against each other, until they couldn't take it anymore. They slipped off their panties, desperate for more friction, and continued grinding.

Finally, Willow burst, her orgasm ripping through her like water bursting through the dam that's been holding it back for a century.

Willow lay there, panting, watching as Faith continued grinding against her hip, and smiling widely as Faith, too, climaxed, her womanly juices coating Willow's hip, making it shine.


	5. Fuffy 4

**Five**

"Faith, I love you." Buffy said, facing away from the raven-haired Slayer.

"Love you too, B." Faith replied skeptically.

"No, I mean I really love you. I can't stop thinking about you. I close my eyes and I see your face. I go to sleep and I dream about you. I listen to the radio and I hear your voice. I feel your skin when there's a cool breeze. My heart skips two beats at a time every time I catch a glimpse of your hair, or your eyes. I don't know when, or even how it happened, but I've fallen hopelessly in love with you. And I know you're not the "falling in love" type, even if you were into girls, so that makes saying this that much harder."

Faith was silent.

"Faith?"

She still said nothing.

"Faith? Could you please say something?"

Buffy was beginning to think Faith was no longer there.

She turned around, and suddenly was no longer in the kitchen talking to Faith. She woke up from her daydream and found herself once more in the bathroom, talking to herself in the mirror, practising how she was going to say what she needed to say to Faith.

She sighed and turned off the light as she left the bathroom, coming face-to-face with Faith, who was standing at the door, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

Time stood still, the moment between _ticks_ of the clock on the wall seeming to take an eternity as they stared at each other, with very different expressions on their faces.

Buffy's was one of horror. Had Faith really just heard Buffy confessing her love to the bathroom mirror?

Faith was very confused, and it was not hidden from her face.

"Uh..." She said. "Huh?"

"Faith." Buffy said, no more than a whisper escaping her lips.

"What... was all of that?"

"Um... How much did you hear?"

"Well, there was something about... a breeze? And something in my hair?"

"Oh. Yeah. Last night, there was... vamp dust... in your hair. It's gone now. Just... kinda got me wierded out."

"And there was something about a dream?"

"Oh yeah. Um... That's what wierded me out. Last night. I had a dream about... vamp dust getting into people's... hair, and turning them into vamps that way."

"Oh. Okay."

"Okay."

"Right."

Neither of them said anything past that, and they turned to walk away from each other. Buffy stopped herself, though.

"Actually..." She said, turning around. Faith stopped and looked back at her.

"Yeah?"

"Um... Have you seen Willow?" She cursed herself for chickening out again, but she suddenly felt like she needed advice anyway.

"Yeah... Red went to the Magic Box. Wanted to meet up with Tara for something. Probably to go make out or something."

"Okay... thanks."

"No problem." They both walked away awkwardly again.

Buffy almost burst into the Magic Box, practically shouting for Willow

"Buffy!" Willow came running, followed by Tara and Giles. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, sorry. Just a bit... freak-outty right now. I need to talk to you. And possibly Tara. Actually, definitely Tara." Buffy ran downstairs to the training room, followed closely by Willow and Tara.

"What is it, Buffy?" Willow asked concernedly.

"I... um... I need to talk to you guys. About... you know... lesbians."

Willow rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I kind of figured you'd have a problem with this. Buffy, I love Tara."

"No!"

"Yes, I do!"

"No, I mean no to this being about you two. I'm really cool with this, believe me. In fact, I may be... more cool with this than I thought."

Willow looked confused, but Tara caught on quickly.

"Who is it? Is it Faith?" Tara asked excitedly, and Willow looked back and forth between them, still not quite in the loop.

Buffy nodded, surprized.

That did it. Realization dawned on Willow, and she was suddenly more excited than Tara.

"Oh my god, Buffy! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Well, I didn't know until recently. I don't know when... _it_ actually happened, but it didn't hit me until last tuesday, and then I had to adjust to the whole idea myself, then I was going to try to tell Faith, so I practiced a bit, but she caught me, only wasn't quite sure what she heard, so I deflected and came here. I need help!" Buffy's heart was pounding, and she almost collapsed. She had to sit down on a punching bag she'd knocked down earlier.

"Buffy, just breathe." Tara suggested, and Buffy took her advice.

"Now, talk slowly. What happened?" WIllow asked, smiling at Tara. This was one bet she was actually glad she lost.

"Last tuesday, I figured out that I am in love with Faith."

"In love with her?!" Willow shouted.

"Shhh!" Buffy hushed her. "Not so loud!"

"But... love? But you haven't even said anything about being in... like with her!"

"Well, that's what I'm saying! I didn't even know I had these... feelings. Not for Faith! Not for any girl! I didn't figure it all out until last tuesday. And then, like I said... I needed to adjust to the idea myself before I told anyone. And once I finally did, I thought Faith herself should be the first to know. I think Faith would prefer it that way, but then, as soon as I saw her, I freaked."

"What happened?" Tara asked.

"Well, I figured I'd try to practice it or something in the bathroom so I wouldn't freak out when I finally did try to tell her, only it didn't work. Faith heard it all from outside the bathroom."

"Yikes." WIllow said, and Tara nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, only she wasn't so sure what she heard. I guess most of what I said was muffled by the presence of a door between us. The thing is, when I saw Faith there, and thought that she heard it all, I think I was relieved. Like I wouldn't have to really explain it, she'd just know. But then she wasn't sure what she heard, so I had to explain it after all."

"How'd she take it?" Willow asked.

"She didn't. I freaked. I told her that I was just talking to myself about a dream I had about vampire dust getting in people's hair and turning them into vamps that way."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Buffy." Willow stroked her hair.

"Well, how did you guys... you know...?" Buffy asked.

"Come out?" Tara asked. Buffy nodded. "Well, it helped that we had something in common. The witchcraft. We met in our Wicca Group at U. C. Sunnydale. We separated from them, because they weren't really into magic or anything, and we did some stuff on our own. We just kind of... connected through that." Tara explained, smiling at Willow, who returned the smile.

"Well, Faith and I are both Slayers. We patrol together a lot. But nothing like that's ever happened before to us."

"Well, someone's got to make the first move, Buffy, or it'll never happen."

"But how do I do that?"

"Well, you could come right out and tell her. Either she'll freak out and avoid you for awhile until she gets over it, or she'll feel the same way and you two can start a happy relationship with a hot, steamy night of after-patrol sex." Willow smiled wickedly, a glance towards Tara.

"No. I'm more of a three-dates type of girl." Buffy said. "Of course, I've only ever... you know... once. With Angel. And we didn't actually go out on any dates, cause he couldn't go out in the daytime, and I was always dealing with an apocalypse or out on patrol. Then again, we patrolled together alot, so maybe I can count those as dates. In which case, we had, like, a million dates before we... you know."

"I don't think you should use Angel as a reference, though, Buffy."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, he was... unusual. He was all dark and broody, plus he was a vampire. Then there was the curse."

"Right. I was so bad in bed that I didn't only make him dump me, he went all evil and tried to kill us all." Buffy was definitely upset.

"Actually, if what Willow's said about the curse is true, then it wasn't that you were that bad, it was that you were just that good." Tara explained.

"Yeah, it said 'one moment of pure happiness', not 'one moment of pure disappointment'."

"Thanks, Will." Buffy said, pale in the face. "Though, not sure if I'm all that comfortable talking about what I'm like in bed with you guys." Buffy's eyes went wide. "I mean talking about it with you guys, not being in bed with you guys!"

"Buffy, it's okay, we know what you meant." Willow smirked, but the visual was already in all three of their minds, and if they were all honest, only Buffy was at all horrified at the idea. Willow and Tara were actually turned on by it.

"Did anyone else just get that very... unsettling visual?" Buffy asked.

"No." Willow and Tara both said.

"No? Then I'm the only one?"

"Yes." Willow said, just as Tara replied "No, I mean it wasn't unsettling."

"I mean yes." Tara corrected herself.

"Well, how do I talk to Faith about this?" Buffy all but whined. "I mean, comeon, she's slept with more guys than all of us put together. She's obviously straight."

"Well, to be fair, that's not saying much." Tara said. "Willow's only ever been with Oz and Xander, if you can count him."

"Which I don't." Willow agreed.

"And I've always been gay, so no sleeping with boys for me."

"Right. And I've only ever had that one time with Angel." Buffy concluded.

"And even if you count Anya, she's spent the last few hundred years hating all men. So, not alot going on for her there, either."

"Well, still. Faith's been with, like, a bajillion guys." Buffy said, putting her face in her hands.

"Oh, come on, Buffy. A bajillion isn't a real number. Besides, I don't even think she's been with a hundred guys."

"Not helping, Will."

"Right, sorry."

"How do I confess my undying love to a straight girl?"

"Well, maybe you can look at it this way: Faith was acting all big and bad for a while, even joining the Mayor for a time in his quest for demonic ascension, right?" Tara asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, then she abandoned him again and helped you guys finish him off, right?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd say she's just trying to get your attention. Trying to get you to act like her, helping a human become a demon, then when that didn't work, coming back and helping kill him? I think it was all just to get you to notice her."

Buffy thought about what Tara was saying for a minute. "You really think so?" She asked, hopefully.

"I do. I could be wrong, but at least it's something to hope for."

"Yeah." Buffy hesitated. "Okay. I'm going to tell her."

"When?" Willow asked.

"Tonight. I'll tell her I want to hang out at the Bronze or something, skip on patrol for tonight, and I'll tell her then." Buffy wasn't sure about her resolve, but she thought she sounded convincing enough.

"Okay. I want the details tomorrow, though!" Willow said as Buffy rushed out.

"Should we have told her?" Tara asked.

"Nah. Let's let them figure it out on their own. They've danced around it long enough. It's time they figure it out for themselves." Willow said.

Faith was supposed to meet her at the Bronze at 8:00pm. It was now 9:30pm. She was an hour and a half late. Faith was never late for a night at the Bronze.

_She's freaking out over earlier, I just know it._ Buffy thought in horror. She sat down at her table and buried her face in her arms.

She'd spent two hours geting ready. She'd tried on every article of clothing in her room before finally settling on a pair of black jeans, a pastel pink blouse with ruffles and a black leather jacket Faith gave her for her last birthday.

She looked back up at the clock again.

9:31pm.

_She's not showing._

Some guy came over to the table and sat down across from her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's owner's going to show up."

"Ah. Got stood up, huh?"

"Oh, no, we're just friends. We were looking to just kind of hang out tonight, but apparently something must have come up."

"Really? Just friends? 'Cause what you're wearing says "date"."

"Does it?"

"Yeah. I got that vibe about thiry minutes ago when I saw you, so either you're fashionably early, or just very, very early, or you just got stood up. I just thought I'd come over and keep you company for a while."

"Right. Let's get something clear. I know you're looking to score. That's all guys are ever interested in except for the ones who are all dark and broody, the ones that only a really screwed up girl would even consider going out with. Then, even if said screwed up girl takes a chance on Mr. Tall, Dark and Depressing, he'll become Mr. Tall, Dark and Devilish instead, and the screwed up girl is forced to kill Mr. TDD in order to save the world. So either you're just a jerk guy looking to score with some drunk girl getting stood up, which, hey, no harm, no foul, but not gonna happen, or tonight ends with me driving a wooden stake trough your chest."

"Um... actually, I'm gay. My boyfriend is at the bar, getting drinks for the three of us. I actually just wanted to cheer you up because you looked sad, but now I'm thinking I'm just gonna go back to the bar. You've got issues." He scoffed as he turned around and walked away, and Buffy felt like a total bitch.

_Ugh_. Buffy groaned mentally and placed her head on the table again.

She felt the table shift again as someone sat down across from her.

"Listen, I just told that guy that I'm not interested. Granted, I made a mistake, because he's gay, and actually did just want to cheer me up, but I'm still not interested, okay?" No one answered, so Buffy looked up at Faith.

"Well, guess I'd better go home, then, huh?" Faith joked.

"Faith! You're late!"

"Sorry, B. Had a wierd day. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was gonna show up. I'd already decided not to, only to look down and find myself walking out the door, dressed like this." Faith was wearing almost the same thing as Buffy. Black leather pants instead of jeans, and red instead of pastel pink shirt, and no ruffles, but there was definitely the presence of a leather jacket.

"Oh."

"So what's up? Said you wanted to talk to me 'bout something. You're the one who suggested we just hang out tonight, so spill. What's goin' on?"

"Well, um... I guess I can't just beat around the bush anymore. There's really no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to do it."

"Oh my god, you're pregnant."

"What?!"

"Relax, B. I'm just kidding. I already know about the cancer."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, come on! Can't you take a joke, B? Just say it!" Faith laughed, and Buffy's heart melted at the sound.

"Um... well... I, uh..."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm in... um... What I mean to say is that I... I mean I like... Ugh, this isn't working. I was so sure I'd be able to say it this time." Buffy laid her head down on the table again. "Listen, can we just hang out right now? I'm sure I'll be able to say it at some point tonight, just give me a while."

"Fine, whatever, B. So, see anyone you like here?"

"What?"

"You know, guys. I see a couple of guys over there I'd like to ride all night long. Assuming they last that long, that is."

"Oh, them? They're gay."

"Don't you know, B? When it comes to me, no one's gay."

_Except me._ Buffy thought sadly.

"Well, you do what you want. I'm not really in the mood for guys right now." _Or ever again._

"Eh. Probably right. 'Sides, we came here to hang out. Figure I can go one night without hooking up with someone."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Those gay guys are the only good lookin' ones in tonight, anyway."

"Okay." Buffy sighed, then perked her ears up as a nice rhythm sounded over the speakers.

"Sweet music tonight." Faith said, heading for the dance floor. "Sounds familiar!" She grinned wickedly at Buffy, beckoning to her in mock seduction.

It sounded familiar to Buffy, too. It had been playing here at the Bronze on a night she found herself repeating in her head a lot lately. The night she went crazy with Faith. They'd danced together, and not like most friends did. The way they'd moved together still deeply aroused Buffy whenever she thought about it. Then Angel had gone and spoiled it all by showing up. When Buffy saw him there, she finally noticed the arousal that had been building inside her, and thought it was Angel's presence that was doing it to her, but now she knew different.

Buffy followed Faith out onto the floor and was acutely aware of the two gay men at the bar watching them, slightly stunned, slightly amused.

But her awareness of them, and everyone else who was watching the two girls together, meaning the entire club, was erased as Faith started moving with the music.

The others out on the dance floor spread out slightly, giving them a space that was all their own.

They were close. Very close. As in Faith's entire back nearly melting into Buffy's front close. And they were swaying, grinding. Their inhibitions vanished with the rest of the world. There was only them and the music.

Faith was teasing, obviously mocking her movements, acting very seductively, and enjoying the discomfort on Buffy's face, but never knowing the true reason behind her discomfort.

Buffy felt like she was about to say it several times. "I love you. I'm in love with you." But every time her mouth opened to say the words, Faith's butt would graze across her core, and her breath would catch, and her body would go rigid, only to be caught up in the music again and the process would repeat.

The music only slowed when both of them were nearly dehydrated from the sweating they were doing, both of them close to passing out from oxygen deprivation.

But Buffy didn't go back to the table. She graciously excused herself to the bathroom, leaving Faith at the table.

She walked slowly to the bathroom, only to burst inside and run into one of the stalls. She crouched down in front of the toilet and spilled her guts into the porcelain bowl.

As if the arousal wasn't enough, Faith had had to make it worse by moving like that. Then there was the constant missed breaths, and rapid heartbeat, and the sheer amount of sweat generated on the floor. All of it lead up to the inside of the toilet being painted a vomit green color.

Buffy vaguely heard someone else enter the bathroom behind her, and was suddenly alert. She stood up and faced the intruder, to see the gay guy from earlier and his boyfriend.

_Vampires?_ Buffy thought, but decided not. She wasn't getting any vibes from them.

"Hey." The one from earlier said.

"What are you guys doing in here? It's the girls' bathroom."

"Well, the rules regarding men in womens' bathrooms are blurry concerning gay men. Besides, we saw a woman in distress, and thought we should try to help."

"Oh."

"You don't look so hot, hon." The other guy said.

"I don't feel so hot, either."

"Too much to drink?"

"No, I don't think I've had enough to drink."

"Ah, fight with the "Mrs."?"

"What?"

"That lady from earlier. You fighting?"

"Oh, no. We're not together."

"But you're gay?" Guy #1 asked.

"Yeah, and? And how'd you know?"

"Gaydar. Which you, apparently, lack. And what kind of lesbian are you? I mean, I'm not expert, but even I know that girl was smoking hot. You've got to be lying if you say you're not into her."

Buffy didn't respond.

"You are, aren't you?" asked #2.

Buffy simply nodded.

#1 asked, "But she doesn't know, does she?"

She shook her head no.

"And what's more, she's straight." She concluded.

"Bull shit." Buffy jumped at the foul words coming from #2. "If you think she's straight even after she moved like _that_ against you, you're not only a lesbian with no gaydar, you're a _blind_ lesbian with no gaydar. Anyone could see she's got the hots for you."

"No." Buffy said. "She said she was going to try to hook up with you two. I told her you were gay, and she just said 'no one's gay'."

"Oh. I think I know what's going on. She's in denial about her gay-ness. Most people, when they're converted or are born gay, they don't want to face it right away, so they just keep telling themselves and everyone around them that they can't be gay, and they try to compensate by hooking up with everyone of the opposite gender they set their eyes on. But some people just go all the way and say gay doens't exist, that it's all just an act."

"No. Faith's always been like this. Ever since I met her. It's been, like, three or four years now."

"Faith? Is that her name? Well, if Faith's been like this for years, than she may just need someone's support for her to finally accept that part of her. Maybe someone specific. Someone like you, perhaps." #1 suggested.

"So I should just tell her how I feel, and that'll solve everything?"

"No promises, but it's more likely than the alternative."

"Okay then. I'll tell her. But first, I need to get some air." Buffy left the bathroom and went out back for some air. Suddenly, she heard someone groaning behind a stack of crates. She walked over to see if she could help, but halted when she saw what was actually happening.

She saw Faith. Or, rather, she saw part of Faith. The part that wasn't covered up by the guy pounding into her up against the wall. Their pants were on the ground, Faith's bare legs were wrapped tightly around the guy's waist.

Buffy couldn't look away. It was like a train wreck. She felt a tear rolling down the side of her face as she watched the guy climax.

He collapsed to the ground, dragging Faith with him.

"Fuck." She said. "Dude, I told you to pull out when you got close. Now I gotta take a pill or something. Damn it." Faith tried to rock back and forth on him, but it was done. He was softening up already, so she gave up and got up. She grabbed his jeans and wiped herself off, then put her panties and pants back on, then her black combat boots, and started for inside again. She paused when she saw movement out of her peripherals and went on alert, prepared for any threats coming her way. Nothing happened. She shrugged it off, then continued inside.

When she got inside, she nearly bumped into Buffy, and realized what must have happened.

_Fuck, B saw me?! Damn. Great going, Lehane. Now there's no way this is gonna go the way you want it to._

"Hey, B. What's up?"

"I saw you. And that guy."

"Yeah? Like what you see? He's hot, right?"

"No. I didn't like what I saw."

"Oh, come on, B. If you're about to give me another lecture on STDs, just save it. I don't care. 'Sides, Slayers don't get sick, remember? Slayer healing kicks the nasty viruses right out. And the dangers of unprotected sex? I told the guy to get out when he came, he just didn't listen. I'm gonna go and get the morning after tomorrow. Okay? Nothing to worry about." Faith tried to push past.

"Faith." Buffy said as she pushed Faith back, not letting her leave. "You know what I wanted to tell you, when I invited you here tonight?"

"No, still waiting on that."

"I called you here to tell you I'm gay. Don't know when it happened, might have been all my life, and just never known it. Could explain why I have no luck whatsoever with guys. I just know that I realized I'm gay last week. Took me a couple days to accept it, but I have, and I've accepted something else, too. I'm in love with you, Faith. I think I have been ever since I met you, and just never knew it. So there it is. I'm gay, and I'm in love with you. It's also been suggested to me by Willow, Tara, and two gay guys that I have no idea what their names are that you might like me the same way. Correct me if I'm wrong about that. But right now, I don't care. I've got to get out of here now, because right now, I don't think I can stand to look at you."

Buffy turned to walk away, and Faith slumped to the ground. She'd hoped for years, ever since she met Buffy, that the blonde would fall for her. And now that she finally has, Faith had to screw it all up.

She got up quickly and chased after her.

"Buffy!" She shouted when she got outside again, in the front of the club. The blonde turned to face her.

"What is it, Faith?"

"I'm sorry." She said as she got to Buffy. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't know. I had no idea. I mean, somewhere inside me, I knew I was gay, ever since I met you. I just never wanted to face it. But I think... I mean... I know that... Damn, I suck at talking about my feelings. Listen, I like you, too, B. No. I mean I love you, too. I love you. I'm in love with you." Faith turned around and chuckled. "Damn it's wierd. Saying that. It feels wierd, after all this time, finally saying it out loud. Three years, it's been, since we met. I've been in love with you all this time, and only now am I saying it out loud. Never told anyone. Not even myself. Guess I was just trying to save myself. From those emotions. I don't really understand them, you know. But then, I guess no one really understands them. But I've been afraid of them. Afraid that if I said it out loud, it would be true, and then I'd be vulnerable. I hate being vulnerable. It makes me so easy to hurt. But now it's too late. I'm already hurt. And I didn't even have to say it out loud.

"You say you're in love with me, and the shock of it opens me up, leaves me vulnerable right away. And then I know where it's going, even before you say it, and you say you can't stand to look at me, and that's when it happens. I'm broken. No one's ever been able to break me with just words before. It's only happened twice, counting this time. The only other time was when you thought... no, when I did betray you. Left you all for the mayor. You told me something. God, I don't even remember what you said, only that I felt like I was about to die as soon as you said it.

"You remember when we fought, up on that rooftop? You were trying to save Angel after I poisoned him? Slayer's blood was the antidote? Well, that broke me, too, just not with words. I was fighting you, trying to kill you, and you were trying to kill me, too. But every time you moved, it turned me on. The way you moved, it was so... beautiful. You were graceful. And any time you twisted, your shirt would slide up your body just enough to show a little bit of skin. I noticed it every time. I loved it. And yet, I still tried to kill you. You know, that's why I ended up surrendering. Luckily, you had some bad ass reflexes. Just before you stabbed me in the gut, I surrender, and the tip of that blade stopped only a centimeter in front of me. A second later, and I'd have been dead. I just couldn't stand fighting you anymore."

Faith and Buffy were both in tears now.

"Buffy, I know what you said in the club. About not caring if I loved you or not. Don't think I wasn't paying attention. But I just had to tell you. I'm in love with you, too."

"Faith." Buffy whispered.

"Let's go back inside, Faith." She said with a smile. She hooked her arm through Faith's and lead her back inside.

Inside, they sat down at the same table as earlier. They just stared at each other, neither of them uncomfortable.

Buffy reached across the table and brought Faith's face to her, and kissed her


	6. Fuffy 5

**Six**

"Faith." Buffy said, looking at the raven Slayer.

"B." Faith nodded.

Eight months. It had been eight long months since they'd seen each other. Sure, Buffy had visited Faith in her hosptal room a few times but Faith had been slightly comatose.

"Tell me, B. You put a girl in a coma, right after telling her you love her? I still remember those last few seconds before I blacked out, and I remember them well. We were fighting on the rooftop. You tell me you love me, and you wished things could have been different. I agree with you, and say I wish it was different, too, then tell you I'm in love with you, too. We fight some more, and I tell you that I'm just in way too deep. I've done too much to turn back, I say, and your friends, and the council, and the cops won't let me get away with any of it. I can't go to prison, B, I wasn't built for prison, I said.

"You grab my knife and push the tip of it, then the rest of the blade into my gut, then push me off the building. I watch you burst into tears and start hugging your knees as I land in the back of some truck. Then, I wake up in a hospital room. Luckily, the nurses didn't know what I am, so when I ask if I had any visitors, they mention one name, and one name only. And that name wasn't yours. So tell me. You tell a girl youre in love with her, then try to kill her. You fail to kill her, only putting her in a coma, and you don't even visit?" Faith's eyes were glistening in grief and anger at the betrayal.

"I did visit, but not officially. The mayor made arrangements so I couldn't come near you, thinking I'd try to finish you off. Instead, I had to come by at night, after everyone went home. I snuck in through the window. I stayed as long as I could, whenever I could. No one knows, not even Giles. Not even Willow, and she knows how I feel about you." Buffy's eyes were glistening as well.

"You... you visited?"

"Yes."

"I... I remember... a voice. I think it was... reading... something?"

Buffy held up a book. "Goodnight Moon. My mom used to read it to me when I was sick. Thought I'd do the same for you."

"You read a book to me?"

"Over and over and over. It made it feel like you were actually listening, like you were just going to sleep, not almost dead. Made me feel close to you."

"B... I... I don't know what... what to say."

"Then don't say anything." Buffy said, and she leaned in to kiss Faith, suddenly realizing that they'd been moving closer and closer together.

But just before their lips met, the police burst into the room.

"Faith Lehane! You are under arrest for the murder of Deputy Mayor Allan Finch!" One of them said, then they all stepped forward to arrest her. They all wore bulletproof vests and carried semi-automatic assault rifles.

"Faith!" Buffy screamed, and pushed her out of the way, standing between Faith and the police.

"B, get out of the way!" Faith shouted, trying to push past. She couldn't let Buffy get hurt because of her.

"No! Stay back, Faith! Run!" But Buffy wasn't about to let them take Faith.

"Buffy! Back off! Let me go!"

"No! I just got you back, I'm not letting you go again!"

"Miss, you've got to move!" The cops were shouting.

Time slowed, as if they were moving through molasses. Faith pushed past, ducking under Buffy's arms and running towards the police. Buffy saw the cops' eyes widen in terror, seeing a known murderer running towards them. They held their ground, but the pressure was too much for one.

Buffy saw the flash and watched Faith fall long before she heard the _POP_ of the gun. The police surrounded Faith, keeping their sights trained on her, and one of them read her her rights as another called for an ambulance. Buff could barely see her through the throng of law enforcement officials, but the growing wet red splotch on her jacket was plainly visible, as was the shaking of Faith's body, then the stillness that followed.

It all happened in seconds. Buffy just stood there, unable to believe her eyes, no, refusing to believe her eyes. Her mouth was open, her body rigid.

Buffy's mom came downstairs and saw Buffy standing there.

Buffy didn't respond. She didn't see her mom, couldn't hear her voice. She became aware of someone shaking her, and turned her head slowly, to see her mom there. She mouthed something Buffy couldn't make out.

Buffy tried to read her lips.

_Honey?... Are... you... okay?... Did... she... hurt... you?... Buffy?_

Buffy shook her head no slowly. Her hearing returned as the world came back to her.

She looked back over and saw the ambulance had arrived. They were loading Faith up in the ambulance on a stretcher, her blood pouring out, staining the carpet, and her precious leather jacket.

Buffy doubled over on the ground, sobbing. She only just got Faith back. She had Faith right _there_. She could hear her breath, smell her hair, feel her skin. She had _almost_ finally kissed her. And then it was all torn away. _Justice_, they call it. Justice for whom? For some guys who were already dead? Like arresting Faith, almost killing her, was going to bring them back? Was going to stop the killing of others? Another killer would take her place, more people would die, and the ones Faith had killed would still be dead.

How about justice for the living? Buffy finally had the true love of her life, Angel be damned, literally, she'd had her, could hold her, and she was taken away. Where was _Buffy's _justice?

Faith just spent eight months in a coma. Almost brain dead. Relying on machines to live. Buffy suffered alongside her, unable to look into Faith's eyes. Unable to see even the slightest sign of life other than the constant _beep... beep... beep_ of the machine, which grated on her nerves. Knowing it was Buffy herself who had done it to Faith. Never hearing Faith's voice, not knowing whether or not Faith could understand anything that was going on.

Hadn't they, together, been punished enough? Hadn't they, together, suffered enough?

So Buffy was angry at everything. Angry at the Deputy Mayor for surprizing Faith in the heat of battle, when she could barely distinguish between humans and demons. Angry at Giles for pushing Faith to join the Mayor, whether on purpose or not. Angry at the Mayor for being evil, and being there for Faith to join. Angry at Angel for being poisoned, forcing Buffy to fight Faith for her blood to cure him. Angry at the law for taking Faith away from her again. Angry at the mother who was shaking Buffy wildly, unable to understand why she was crying. Angry at her friends and family who would congradulate Buffy on beating Faith, and being relieved that that "monster" was finally behind bars, where she belonged. Angry at Faith, for pushing past, giving herself up, not allowing Buffy to find a way out of the situation. For being close enough to kiss, but then being too far away to even see.

But mostly, she was mad at herself for not being strong enough to protect Faith, both tonight, and back when it really counted, when Faith was standing on the edge of a metaphorical cliff, teetering on the proverbial wire, ready to fall one way or the other.

So if Joyce Summers couldn't understand why her daughter was sobbing relentlessly, then that's too bad. No one would ever understand. Buffy herself didn't even understand.

Yet somehow, Faith would. Buffy just knew Faith would. Because only Faith could ever understand Buffy at all.

**Well, I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that maybe I'll take one or two of these short oneshots and make a full-length story from it. Anyone else who wants to take one of them and write their own story using one, just let me know through a PM, I'd love to be able to read it!**


	7. Fawn 1

**Seven**

"Hey, Faith." Faith turned around to see Buffy's little sister walking up to her.

"Hey there, Short Stuff."

"Okay, seriously? You're, like, five inches taller than me."

"And don't you forget it!"

"Anyway... What are you doing?"

"Not much, just sitting around, watching B train with the new girls."

"You're really into her, aren't you?"

"What?"

"You're into my sister, aren't you?"

"What? No way. Just laughin' at the new girls. Wondering if I was that clumsy when I first started out. Was B?"

Dawn laughed. "Oh yeah. Buffy was a total trip-fest when she started training back in LA. Well, I think she was. Can't really trust those memories, you know? Seeing as they're not really real. Just made up by those monks."

"Eh, they're real. Otherwise B wouldn't have them, too. Can't just make up memories for someone without tying them into the memories of everyone around her. Things wouldn't add up. Least, that's the way I see it."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, of course. Don't think the monks would've bothered giving you a body and memories without backing them up with the truth. Of course, everyone else's memories were at least partially modified, otherwise we wouldn't have remembered you, either. But, and I'm no expert, so you should probably ask Red about this, but I doubt even a group of monks are strong enough with magic to completely re-write everyone's memories you've ever had contact with, more like copy and paste, you know? They probably just inserted you into a bunch of memories we already had, then gave them all to you, too. So you see, just because you never actually lived through all of those memories, that doesn't make them fake. They're just as real as you are, and you're just as real as I am. As B is. And they still shaped you to become who you are."

Dawn looked away, thinking about what Faith said.

"You know, for someone who doesn't really like to talk about your feelings, you're really good at talking about other peoples' feelings. You should be the guidance counselor at my school."

"Nah, that's kinda more B's thing than mine. Not really the 'sit down and work' type of person. I need to be able to move around and get physical."

"What, like a stripper?" Dawn said just as Faith was taking a drink of Dr. Pepper, which ended up soaking Dawn's blouse as Faith spewed.

"Wh... what?!" Faith coughed.

"You said you need to move around and get physical, like a stripper."

"No way! That's not me, either. Not exactly an exhibitionist, ya know? I meant something more like a wrestler, or a boxer. Something I can work off a sweat with."

"Oh. That's good."

"Let me guess, ugly visual?"

"What?"

"Me. As a stripper? Ugly visual?"

"Not so much ugly as... strange. Unusual. I mean, I wouldn't really call any of the girls here _ugly_. Not that I'm attracted to them, or anything!" Dawn corrected.

"Never thought you were. Last I checked, Red and Blondie are the resident lesbians of the group."

"Right. Everyone else is on the straight-and-narrow, so to speak."

"Well, anyway, I'm gonna go get a shower, get ready for patrol tonight."

"Okay. Have fun!" Dawn skipped off, but Faith didn't go straight to the shower.

"Hey, B, can I talk to you for a minute?" Faith asked as she walked up.

"Yeah, sure Faith. About to wear these girls out, anyway. Take five, everyone!" Buffy shouted to the girls, and they all collapsed.

"What's up?" Buffy asked after Faith dragged her off to the side.

"I think Dawn's... kinda into me."

"What?"

"You know... I think Dawn's got the hots for me."

"What? No way. Dawn likes boys."

"'Swhat I thought, too. But we were just talking, and she said I should be her school's guidance counselor. I said no, I need a job where I can get down and dirty, get physical, you know? And you know what she automatically went to?"

"Stripper?"

"Um... actually, yes. How'd you-?"

"Well, that's what I pictured when you said 'down and dirty'. Gotta say, it's a nice visual, too?" Buffy smirked.

"B, I'm serious! I can understand why _you_ would go there. But Dawn? You went there 'cause we're together, I get it, but Dawn?"

"Speaking of which, when do you think we should tell everyone we're together?"

"I don't know, B. But I'm thinking it better be soon. I seriously think we've got a problem with Dawn."

"Well, I've got to go to work. I'll put in a word for you with my boss, if you want."

"Hmm, bartending. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it beats getting a desk job. Sure, go ahead."

"Okay. I'll talk to Dawn when I get home."

"Nah, it's... I'll take care of it. I'll talk to her."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. See you when I get home." Buffy kissed Faith then left.

Faith took a long shower, psyching herself up for the talk with Dawn, and running the whole house out of hot water.

She got out and wrapped a towel around herself, then stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey, Faith." Faith jumped as she heard Dawn speak behind her. She turned towards the teenager.

"Whoa, Dawn!"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"Were you waiting outside the bathroom for me?"

"No. I was just going to my room. Bumped into you on the way."

"Hell of a coincidence."

"What?"

"Look, Dawn, I need to talk to you, but maybe when I'm dry, and have a bit more clothes on."

"Why not now? You know, get it over with, and all?"

"Because right now, this is a bit awkward for me, and I'd really like to get dressed."

"Oh, there's no need for that." Dawn said, the grabbed the edge of Faith's towel and pulled it away from her, leaving Faith standing in the hallway, naked and wet, and not with arousal.

"Dawn! What the hell!"

"What's going on?" Willow asked, walking up behind Faith.

"Dawn just grabbed my towel and took it! I just got out of the freaking shower, and she took my towel!"

"Dawn!" Willow practically screeched, covering her eyes so she couldn't see Faith.

"What?! Oh, come on, Willow, you can't tell me you don't appreciate the view!" Dawn said with a smile, soaking in the sight before her.

Willow accidentally looked back at Faith and saw her naked still, and had to agree with Dawn. It was a nice view.

"No!" Willow said, covering her eyes again.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but coming from a lesbian like you, Red, that's insulting." Faith said.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Willow said. "Dawn, could you just..." Willow motioned to the towel.

"Oh. Okay." Dawn didn't even attempt to conceal her disappointment. She handed the towel back to Faith, who quickly covered up. Faith hurried up and got dressed in her room, then headed to Dawn's.

"Dawn, open up, would you?" Faith said, knocking. Dawn quickly opened the door and ushered Faith in.

"I knew you'd come around!" Dawn squealed.

"No! I just need to talk to you. About what happened out there."

"Oh."

"Listen, I know you like me. Like, like me like me. Never thought I'd say something like that. Wow. Anyway, I need to tell you something. But no one else knows. So don't tell them. Um... B and I are... together. Like, together."

"Whoa. Didn't see that coming." Dawn said sarcastically.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on! You two are so obviously into each other! Everyone can see it. It was just a matter of time."

"Then why... with the...?"

"Because I'm into you too, obviously. Didn't know you and Buffy were together already, thought I'd have some fun while I still could."

"Then... you'll stop... now that you know?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I didn't know."

"Okay then. Good. Glad we had this talk."

Faith stood up and started to walk away.

"Wait, Faith." Dawn said. Faith turned back around, only to meet Dawn's lips with her own. "Hmpf?!" Faith grunted, and Dawn's tongue pushed inside her mouth, and the teenager threw her arms around Faith's neck, dragging her back down onto the bed, landing on top of Dawn.

Faith tried to push Dawn away, accidentally grabbing her breasts in the process. Of course, Buffy would choose _that_ moment to walk in.

"Faith!" Buffy screamed angrily. "How could you?!"

Dawn, surprized, let go of Faith just long enough for her to get away.

"B, it's really not what you think!"

"Oh really?! Because it looked like you were making out with my sister and feeling her up!"

"What?! No! Dawn! She-!"

"Really, Faith! Trying to pin the blame on a girl not even half as strong as you are?!"

"B, she just surprized me!"

"Really?! You told me earlier you thought she liked you! How surprized could you be?!" Buffy stormed out of the room.

"B!"

"Buffy, wait, it's true!" Dawn shouted.

Buffy came into the room again.

"Dawn only! Only Dawn speak. Tell me the truth. What happened? And remember, you don't have to cover for her. I want the truth."

Dawn hesitated. She could break Buffy and Faith up so easily right now, and Faith would be available.

"I... Faith... She..." Dawn sighed. "It's true. I surprized Faith. She told me you two are together, and I said I'd stop trying to seduce her because of it. Then, I kind of ambushed her. When she grabbed my... you know, when she grabbed my breasts, it was an accident. She was trying to push away."

"Oh." Buffy felt like a total bitch now. "Faith, I'm... so sorry." Buffy actually started chuckling.

"B? What the hell's so funny?"

"Sorry, it's just... irony! Gotta love it!"

"What?"

"I told my boss what you told me earlier. About Dawn liking you. We had a slow night, so the bartenders all kind of sat around talking about their home life, and I told everyone about how my sister liked my girlfriend, and my boss said to watch out. 'The way that girlfriend of yours looks, you'll have some competition!' I spent the whole ride home worried that something would happen between you two while I was gone!" Buffy was laughing hysterically. Meanwhile, Faith and Dawn were looking at her like she'd lost her mind. Buffy wiped a tear from her eye and took a deep breath. "Guess you had to be there." She said, then chuckled again.

"Guess so." Faith muttered.

"We good now, Faith?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. We're good." Faith kissed Buffy gladly.

"How about us?" Dawn asked the two of them.

"Oh no, you're grounded, Dawnie." Buffy said, and Dawn pouted.

**Just realised I hadn't done a Faith/Dawn pairing yet, as promised, so thought I'd throw one in here, add a little bit of humor. Hope it was humorous to someone other than myself, I thought this one was a riot! Also, a little note on the thing I mentioned in my last AN: Anyone with an account is welcome to take one of these oneshots and write their own story with it, all I ask is that you tell me you're doing it in a review, and that you use the oneshot itself as the first chapter, with no edits other than possible spelling/grammar errors. I myself will be doing it with a couple of these, so keep an eye out.**


	8. Fuffy 6

**Eight**

"Fuck you, B!" Faith yelled jokingly and pushed Buffy away slightly. Buffy had just made a joke about Faith sleeping with every man she had ever come across after Dawn pointed out a very attractive young man across the street.

"Oh, you know it's true!" Buffy smiled back.

"Bullshit! It wasn't _every_ man. Only the first one I saw once I'm riled up." Faith added quietly. "Besides..." She paused.

"Besides what?" Buffy asked, now curious.

"I... um... I don't..."

"Don't what?"

"I don't swing that way anymore." Faith said firmly as she stoode and started to walk away, not being able to look at Buffy.

"Wait... you mean...?"

"Yeah, I'm gay, okay?" Faith was used to having a certain image. The tough girl, badass, maybe a bit slutty, but she could pull slutty off. She was the one that turned every guy's head from L.A. to D.C. The gymnast, the martial artist, the Slayer. She pulled it all off, and she had worked hard to create that image. Being a lesbian was _not_ part of that image.

"Um... right... I... didn't... I didn't expect that." Buffy stammered.

"Yeah. Didn't figure you would. It just kind of slipped out, okay? I didn't mean to bring it up, but it's too late, now you know." Faith glanced back at Buffy and saw her discomfort. Buffy squirmed under Faith's inspecting eyes.

"And that's why I never mentioned anything. I knew you'd get all twitchy around me, thinking every time I look at you, I'm picturing you naked, and it would make you uncomfortable, and you'd wig out on me. God, I hate girls! I mean, sure, I'm gay, but what I mean is, they're all so self-centered, and they automatically think that any time they're around a straight guy or a gay girl, they're automatically the center of attention and the guy or lesbian is thining about getting into their pants. Newsflash, guys! I'm gay, but I don't just go around picturing all of my friends naked!"

"What about me?" Buffy asked.

"What?"

"What about me? I didn't think you were... didn't even think about it. But now that you mention it... have you? Ever?"

"Have I what?"

"You know. You were just ranting about how you don't just picture every girl you see without clothes on. I wasn't wigging about that, and I'm still not, I'm just curious."

"You want to know if I've ever thought about you nude?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm not expecting you to, or that you ever had, I just wanna know."

"Would you be relieved or disappointed if I said no?"

"I don't know. You'll have to say no first."

"I can't."

"Why not? Because you're afraid of how I'll react?"

"No. Because... I just can't say no."

"You have some wierd kind of spell on you preventing yourself from saying no?"

"No! I mean... I don't want to lie to you."

It dawned on Buffy. "Oh. Then..."

"Yes, I've thought about you." Faith looked away. "Go ahead. Wig out."

"I'm not going to wig out."

"Then what was with the discomfort earlier, when I told you I'm gay?"

"Well... because, I don't want to screw up around you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I didn't know if you... liked me... I just didn't want to overstep or something. I mean, with all of the joking we've done in the past, acting kind of gay together as a joke with everyone else, I didn't know if..."

"If I took it all seriously?"

Buffy nodded.

"No, I knew it was all joking. Even when you started the jokes. No hard feelings, B."

"Well, that's not all."

"What else is there then?"

"Well... You've been honest with me, so I guess I should be honest with you. I just didn't want to slip up."

"Huh?"

"Well, when we were both straight, we could joke around like that all the time and no one would think anything about it if they knew us. But... now that... you... are gay, any joking like that'll make them think we're together or something."

"Well, first of all, would that be so bad? Is it so terrible to imagine us together? Second, they don't know I'm gay, only you do. As long as they don't know, no one's the wiser. And third, just because one of us is gay, and we joke aroud like that, doesn't mean we're together. You're straight, remember?"

"Well... that's the other thing... I'm..."

"Oh my god. You're gay, too?"

"No! But... I'm not exactly straight, either."

"Mind explaining?"

"I like guys. But... I like girls, too."

"Oh."

"See? Now you're wigging. It's kind of hard not to wig when you're learning something that huge about one of your friends. It kind of takes you by surprise, right?"

"Yeah. Guess you're right. Sorry, B."

They were silent for a while, until Faith broke the silence.

"So... We're... both into girls, huh?"

"Yeah. Guess so."

"Have you ever...?"

"Yes."

"You don't even-"

"Yes I do. You were going to ask if I've ever thought about you."

"So you have, then?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"A while. You?"

"Same. When was the last time?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah."

"When you told me you were gay."

"Really? That long ago, huh?"

"What about you?"

"Oh, I don't have to picture myself naked. I can see that any time I want." Faith joked, trying to clear the air. "I'm kidding. Um... three times inthe last ten minutes."

"Really?"

"Yeah. When I told you I'm gay, then again when I said I don't just go around picturing girls naked, and again when you said you're... whatever you are."

"That could be taken the wrong way."

"But you know what I mean. Hemi-sexual, or what ever it's called."

"Hemi-sexual?"

"Yeah, you know. Two hemispheres, you like two different genders. Hemi-sexual."

"Hemi means half. Hemi-sexual would mean I only like half of a guy or girl. I think the word is _bi_sexual."

"Oh. Okay."

"So... are we... like... _into_ each other, then? Or just... you know... attracted by each other?"

"What?"

"I mean do we _like_ like each other, or are we just the people who occasionally picture each other naked?"

"I don't know about you. But as for me... I... I think... I like you."

Buffy's heart skipped a beat, and she knew she felt very strongly about Faith. She wasn't simply attracted to Faith. Simple attraction could never hope to cover how she felt in that moment.

Time stood still and a million thoughts raced through her mind, yet she noticed none of them. She saw Faith, but she saw _through_ her, as well. Faith's words 'I like you' didn't begin to describe her feelings for the blonde. Just meeting Buffy for the first time made her realise she was gay, and the more time she spent with her, her attraction to Buffy turned into friendship, friendship turned into desire, and desire turned into love.

Buffy was the only one who could actually affect Faith at all. She was in Faith's heart, embedded so deep within that nothing could get her out, not even whatever God exists, if He does. People made comments about Buffy. Some said she was a major bitch, or some slut, or a necrophiliac, or even that they'd like to fuck her, and Faith knocked every one of them out, and wanted to do more, but she was afraid she'd kill them if she actually gave in.

She saw Buffy with Angel, or Riley, or even Spike, and she was jealous of the guys, wished she could be in their place, but at the same time, was glad they did something for her, that they made her happy. She was happy just seeing Buffy happy, something she'd never been able to say about anyone else. Everyone else before she met Buffy was just a backscratcher, scratching Faith's itch. Since she met Buffy, everyone else was just a simulation, pretending they were her. Some were good, some were downright amazing in bed, and even if Buffy herself absolutely sucked, they still could never compare to the real Buffy. Not for Faith.

Buffy saw all of this and more in Faith, and she felt the same way, exactly, but she knew the raven-haired Slayer wasn't ready to say it, or even knew how to say it. So she settled for agreeing with Faith.

"I like you, too."

And they kissed.

They kissed for more than five minutes, softly, conveying everything they felt for each other with their lips.

"I'm... just going to go." Dawn said from where she sat on the couch, but neither Slayer heard her. "So I'm invisible." She sighed and walked away.


	9. Fuffy 7

**Nine**

"F-fuck!" Faith gasped as she was brought to her climax by the blonde's tongue. Her body was shaking as the woman climbed back up her body and laid down beside her.

"Damn, I really got you going, didn't I?" The blonde asked.

"Yeah." Faith whispered as she sat up and got out of bed. Her knees were weak after her orgasm, but she managed to keep her balance as she walked over to the other side of the room, grab her robe and throw it on.

Once again, Faith looked at the blonde she'd picked up earlier that evening and realized how much she looked like Buffy.

_Fuck. I go out to pick up some random girl, fuck her senseless, just so I can forget about B for an hour. Then, figures, I pick up yet another girl who looks almost exactly like her. Get the hell outta my head, B!_

"Okay, I think you should leave now." Faith said casually, not betraying what was going on in her mind.

The blonde scoffed. "So what, that's it? Just get some, then get gone?"

Faith smirked, remembering her motto before she'd met Buffy. It had been a lifetime ago since she'd first met Buffy Summers. Ten years, in fact. Ten years tomorrow. Faith had counted every single day since she'd met the blonde, and she now celebrated three anniversarys because of her. Last month, on the tenth, was the ninth anniversary since the day she fell in love with her. Tomorrow was the tenth anniversary of the day she actually met Buffy. Then, ironically, the next day was the sixth anniversary of the day she would never see her again.

Six years since Buffy left. Faith remembered that day with vivid accuracy.

_Buffy had been wearing a loose red blouse and blue jeans, as well as a black leather jacket Faith had given to her for her birthday two months before. Faith was dressed much the same, but her red blouse was actually a tight red T-shirt that left her belly exposed and revealed a substantial ammount of cleavage, and she wore black leather pants, as opposed to Buffy's blue jeans. Both of them were walking on the beach, barefooted, just talking. They had grown closer and closer for a while, to the point where they were almost as good of friends as Buffy and Willow were._

_ But Faith had almost always wanted more, and this was the day she told Buffy that._

_ Faith couldn't remember what Buffy said, but it left them both laughing. Finally, Faith grew serious and looked Buffy in the eyes. Her eyes betrayed what Faith was actually feeling, and Buffy figured it out without having to be told, but Faith still had to say it._

_ "Hey, B... I... I gotta tell you somethin'."_

_ "Go... Go ahead." Buffy managed, though she knew exactly what Faith was going to say._

_ "I... I, um... Well, we've been friends for a while."_

_ "Four years." Buffy confirmed._

_ "And, well, I've treasured every moment of it. If... If you hadn't been there for me after I killed Finch... I don't know, I might have ended up on the wrong side of a weapon aimed by one of the Scoobies. Um... I guess, you kinda saved my life, and I'm extremely grateful for it."_

_ "Well, you're welcome." Buffy smiled, thinking maybe she was wrong, but Faith continued._

_ "Well, since then, we've grown closer. A lot closer. I mean... fuck, I'm no good at all this talkin' about feelings crap." Faith gunted, looking away from Buffy, who waited patiently. _

_ "Fuck it." Faith growled, frustrated with herself. "I just gotta go for it. B... Buffy." Faith corrected. Now was no time to be using her nickname for Buffy. "Buffy, I... I'm... I'm in love with you."_

_ Faith finally looked up to meet Buffy's eyes, which were welling up with tears._

_ "Buffy?" Faith asked, suddenly scared._

_ "Faith... I... I can't do this..." Buffy said softly as she turned and started to run away, leaving Faith standing on the shore, all alone. And no violins played, signifying Faith's loss and the despair in her heart. And no rain came, making the world feel as miserable as she did. And no clouds came, darkening the world to fit Faith's mood._

_ The air was filled with the sounds of birds chirping, and waves sloshing up on the shore, and a warm breeze blowing. And the sun shone bright, leaving everyone, everything but Faith happy and joyful. And the sky was clear, blue, showing the delight the world was feeling at such a beautiful day._

_ But Faith was not feeling the mood of the world. She fell to her knees and hugged her stomach, trying to numb the pain that resonated in her gut, in her heart. The first scream was terrifying, the sound of a wounded animal crying for its lost mate. They grew softer and softer as they each came after the previous one, but never lessening the pain._

Faith felt those same tears coming again as she looked at Not-Buffy lying naked on her bed, glaring at her in anger.

"Yeah." Faith said, then wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling as she said it again. "Yeah. That was all this was. Get some, get gone. You got some, so get gone, already. I've got things to do."

"Whoa, you alright?"

"Just go!" Faith screamed as she darted into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

She slumped to the floor against the door and started sobbing into her hands.

Then, she heard the blonde speaking from the other side of the door.

"Listen, I... I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's... it's alright. Just leave, please." Faith said, her voice cracking.

"No it's not. I pretty much just called you a whore. I shouldn't have said that."

"No... That used to be my motto. I used to say it all the time. I didn't care. I just, like you said, got some, got gone. I... I don't take offense to it, 'cause it's my motto now, too."

"Oh. Then who was she?"

"What? Who?"

"The girl who destroyed you."

"What makes you think a girl destroyed me?"

"You're gay, so that says girl. Plus, it's written all over your face. At least, it was when I saw it a minute ago. So? Who was she?"

Faith chuckled, laughing at herself. "Her name was Buffy. Buffy Summers."

"What kind of name is Buffy?"

"I don't know. I asked that, too. But, it's on her birth certificate. She showed me. Anyway, see that nightstand on the left side of the bed?" Faith asked as she blew her nose.

"Yeah?"

"Look in the drawer." Faith ordered, and soon heard the sound of the drawer opening. "Take a couple out and read 'em if you want. I really don't give a shit anymore."

"Whoa... these all have her name or the letter B on the envelopes."

"Yeah. Wrote 'em all to her. Never sent them. Hell, I don't even know where to send them anymore. She's definitely moved by now. I stay here, though. I guess I'm still hopin' she'll come back for me."

"What happened?"

"We were friends." Faith started, unsure why she was telling all this to some girl she picked up in a bar. "I did somethin' bad, she helped me get over it, and I fell for her. Big time. But I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship, so... Yeah. The oldest story in the book, I know. Only, I got over that. Decided I couldn't live with never tellin' her the truth. So I went for it one day. Took her to the beach, walked on the sand, barefoot. Nice day, not hot, not cold. Sun's shining, waves sloshin' up on the beach. Perfect, right? I don't usually go for that kind of romantic crap, but she loved it. I thought maybe if I at least tried to show her how I felt before I actually told her, she wouldn't freak out as badly. Then, I told her. And... she freaked. She just said she couldn't deal, then ran away, leavin' me standin' all alone, fallin' apart. She never looked back, I didn't look away, but we never saw each other again. That was six years ago two days from now. I haven't seen or heard from her in nearly six fuckin' years, and still any time I meet a girl I like, I realise she looks almost exactly like Buffy. So, I just gave up on actually tryin' to meet someone, and went back to my old habits, get some, get gone. But even that... Every girl I fuck, they all, even you, look almost exactly like her. I never thought it would be possible for so many girls to look like her, but they all do. I never go for someone if they don't look like her, no matter how fuckin' hard I try."

Faith started sobbing again, and she called out for the blonde to leave once again. She heard nothing for almost five minutes, probably the blonde getting dressed, then the door opened and closed, and Faith was alone again.

She wept for at least ten minutes, but then heard a knock on the door, so she got up and walked into the main room. She threw herself on her bed and called out. "Go away!"

Another knock on the door sounded instantly, frantic.

"I said go away!" Faith called again, and the knock came again. Frustrated, Faith got up, walked over to the door and swung it open. "Leave me al-!" Faith stopped as she saw who it was, then blacked out.

Her vision was fuzzy as she came to. Whoever had showed up had moved her back to her bed, and was now sitting on a chair beside her. At a first glance, Faith had thought it was... but no, it couldn't be. Every girl Faith met now looked like her. Maybe one of them was trying to track her down and rekindle some romance.

"Look, whoever you are, it's not gonna work out between us. I told you when we broke up." Faith mumbled, still unable to see.

"Well, since we were never actually together, I'm going to say you're thinking of someone else." Faith heard Buffy say.

_Great. Now I'm even hearin' her voice._

"Fuck." Faith said. "Look, I'm not interested in whatever you're sellin', I'm not lookin' for a quick tumble in the sack, and I don't date anymore, so whatever you're here for, just leave. I'm not in any condition for visitors."

"Not even old friends?" The voice was different.

_Thank god I'm not hearin' her anymore._

Faith's eyes cleared up enough to see Willow sitting next to her.

"There you are." The redhead said, and Faith felt the familiar disappointment and depression she always felt when she realised the girl next to her wasn't Buffy. Just another reminder of her.

"Don't think I'm not grateful for the surprise visit, but what do you want?"

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I got a call this morning, thought you might want to know."

"Oh really? That's fascinating. Don't care, though."

"You will when I tell you it was Buffy." Faith froze, even her breath halted as she heard. Then, she tried to pass it off like she didn't care.

"Oh yeah? What'd B have to say?"

"She's coming back to Sunnydale."

"Oh yeah. Cool. Tell her to stop by, if she wants to." Faith choked up, trying to stay nonchalant, but unsuccessful. She teared up for the third time that day and whimpered as she thought about being so close to Buffy again, after all these years.

"Actually, she said she tried to call you, but your number's out of service."

"Yeah, got rid of it so I wouldn't be tempted to call her. Last time we talked, didn't go so well."

"Yeah, so I heard. I don't know what you said, but she was freaking out when I saw her just before she left. Anyway, she said she wants you to meet her at the airport this evening. Eight o' clock at Gate 8. She said for you to come alone. She doesn't want any of us there, just you." Willow sounded hurt, but her eyes were sympathetic. "What _did_ you say? If I can ask."

"I... I told her... I told her that I... I love her."

"Present tense." Willow noticed, and Faith nodded.

"Yeah. I'm stil in love with her. Every girl I meet looks like her, even if at first, I look specifically for everything that's exactly the opposite of her. Short, dark hair, darker skin, even dated a black chick once, but no matter how hard I try, they all look like her."

Willow nodded in understanding. "Well, Buffy specifically asked for you. The first thing she said to me, literally, was 'I'm coming home. Have Faith meet me at Gate 8 at 8:00.' Then she said for none of us to come with you, she wants to see you first. I'm gonna have the rest of the gang meet up at the Magic Box. Bring her there after you guys leave from the airport." Willow said, not letting Faith get in another word. She just left.

_Buffy's comin' home, and she wants to see me first? Doesn't make sense. Unless... No, Lehane. Don't get your hopes up. Fuck. How am I gonna face her?_

But it didn't matter, Faith was already up and getting dressed, then out the door, then getting into her car and peeling out of the driveway.

7:50pm. It was exactly two minutes since she last checked her watch. Still ten minutes to go before Buffy arrived. Faith sat back down to wait.

Impatient, she checked her watch. 7:51pm.

Faith waited for what felt like hours, then checked her watch again. 7:59pm. One more minute and she'd see Buffy again for the first time in six years. Her watch beeped on the hour. 8:00pm. Faith jumped up and looked towards the gate. She saw a flash of blonde hair tep through the opening, but then lost her nerve. She couldn't face Buffy, after all. She turned and ran for the front door.

Buffy saw Faith running, and her heart nearly stopped, until she decided to forget about collecting her bags and chased after the fleeing woman.

"Faith!" She called, but she didn't turn. Buffy made it out the front door seconds after Faith and was about to jump and tackle her to the ground when Faith started to run across the road to get to her car, and a taxi slammed into her, sending her flying. Buffy screamed as Faith hit the ground, hard, and lay in the street, unmoving.

Every car in the road stopped as people got out to run over and check on the victim, even the cab driver.

"Oh my god... She... She just ran out in front of me." The cab driver was muttering, unable to believe he just hit someone.

Buffy made it to Faith first, and picked her up so her head was in the blonde's lap.

"Faith!" Buffy cried. "Come on, speak to me! Talk to me, Faith, talk to me! I didn't get to tell you! Come on! Get up, Faith!" Buffy was screaming as she pleaded with Faith.

"Hey, man, I think that girl's dead." One guy said from behind her, but Buffy didn't hear him.

"Faith, please! I love you! Please, Faith, I love you!" Buffy hugged Faith close, begging her to wake up, though she knew she was gone. Weeping, Buffy leaned over and kissed Faith on the lips. She'd heard, in fairy tales, that true love's first kiss could wake anyone from even the arms of death. Being the Hellmouth, it should work. But it didn't.

Faith was dead.


	10. Fawn 2

**Ten**

**Okay, so I'm mildly disappointed that no one's reviewing. I was really hoping that these oneshots would get more than one or two reviews. Oh well, guess I'd just better keep writing!**

Dawn looked down at the blood pooling on the bathroom floor. Her blood. She put the letter opener down on the counter with a shaky hand as more blood spilled from her cuts.

She sat down on the bathroom floor, then curled into a ball and started sobbing. She had needed some kind of release from the pain she suffered daily. Everyone around her was always happy, cheerful, and totally ignorant of the turmoil in Dawn's heart. She needed a different kind of pain to drown out the pain she already felt. Something external, something she could see, that she could use to take her mind off of her.

Buffy was happy with her boy toy, Riley. Willow and Tara were perfect for each other. Giles and Joyce were busy planning a wedding, and Xander and Anya were married already themselves. Faith...

Faith was single, and was planning on staying that way for a long time yet. She wasn't quite ready to settle down with one person yet, and when she finally is, it'll be with a guy. Faith was definitely not gay. She definitely wasn't into Dawn.

And that hurt.

Even the cuts Dawn had just inflicted on herself only masked the pain momentarily.

Now it was back, and the cuts only added to her pain.

So she just lay there on the ground, hurting inside and out, and watching her blood spill out onto the floor. Something was wrong. She cut herself too deeply. The blood was spilling too fast, and wasn't clotting.

She was feeling weak. When she heard the front door open, she tried to call for help, but she was too weak to be successful.

"Dawn!" She heard Faith's voice call out.

"Faith..." Dawn said weakly.

"Dawn?" Faith called again.

"Fai..." Dawn was losing consciousness.

Faith saw the light coming from under the bathroom door, and figured Dawn was inside.

"Hey, Dawn, that you in the bathrrom?" Faith could hear something, but Dawn didn't answer. "Dawn?"

Still no reply came.

"Dawn?!" Faith started to get worried. When still no answer came, Faith busted down the door and was horrified when she saw Dawn laying in a pool of her own blood, and bloody letter opener on the counter.

"Fuck, Dawn!" Faith screamed, and she quickly picked Dawn up and set her down in the bathtub. She grabbed some towels from the closet and wrapped them tightly around Dawn's arms, stopping the bleeding while fighting away tears.

"Damn it Dawn, what the hell were you thinking?" Faith growled to herself as she tried desparately to stop the bleeding. She held the makeshift bandages on Dawn's arms while she took out her cell phone and dialed 911.

_"911 emergency, how can I help you?" _A woman's voice asked cheerfully.

"I need an ambulance! 1630 Revello Drive! My friend's sister cut herself badly!"

_"Emergency services will be there shortly."_ Faith hung up and called Buffy.

_"What's up?"_ Buffy asked grumpily. She had chosen to stay the night at Riley's dorm room, and Faith had obviously interrupted something.

"Buffy! Get home now! It's Dawn!"

Buffy was suddenly on alert. _"What happened?!"_

"She was upset or something, so she cut herself! A lot!"

_"I'm on my way!"_

Faith hung up the phone and got in the tub with Dawn, cradling her while holding the bandages tightly.

"It's gonna be, okay, Dawnie." Faith whispered, tears streaming as freely as the blood from Dawn's arms.

Dawn woke up in a hospital room, very weak and very tired.

"Hmm?" She moaned, and Buffy was instantly by her side.

"Dawn?" She asked, still worried, even though the doctors said she'd be alright.

"Wh... Where's Faith?" Dawn asked. It hurt that she was only asking for Faith, but to be fair, she had saved Dawn's life.

"She's at work right now. They called her in early today. A popular group is playing tonight, and the Bronze is packed. They needed everyne to work a bit longer today, so she's picking up some overtime." Buffy explained. Faith had recently gotten a job as a bartender at the Bronze, and was quickly proving to be an asset.

"Oh." Dawn said, disappointed.

"You feeling better?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah." Dawn replied, knowing where this was going. _Better get this over with._

"What the hell were you thinking?" Buffy asked, tears in her eyes. "You... You could have... If Faith hadn't gotten there when she did... hadn't thought quickly... I... we could have... could have lost you."

"Like you care." Dawn muttered, but Buffy's Slayer hearing picked it up.

"How could you say that? Of course I care! You're my sister! You're all I have left!" Buffy's tears fell, burning her flesh in anger.

"Whatever. You're never around. All you ever do is go sleep with Riley, and when you're not doing that, you're on patrol. Either that or you're at work. The only time you ever spend with me anymore is when you bring home the paycheck. Faith's more my sister now than you are." Dawn's words stung like a thousand wasps, and in that moment, Buffy would rather get turned into a vampire than hear Dawn say that again. She couldn't bring herself to be angry, her heart was so heavy.

She looked down at the ground and buried her face in her hands, her sobs shaking her body.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, now feeling bad for what she said. "Buffy, I'm... I'm sor-"

"No, you're right." Buffy interrupted. "You're absolutely right. I haven't been a sister. I haven't been a sister, haven't been a friend, haven't even been a girlfriend in a long time. The only thing I do with Riley even remotely resembling a relationship is have sex with him. I don't talk to Willow or Faith or Xander or Giles anymore unless there's something that needs to be slayed. And I certainly haven't been there for you. God, Dawn, I'm so... so sorry." Buffy sobbed.

"Buffy, it... it's okay."

"No, Dawn, it damn well isn't!" Buffy shouted. "For god's sakes! I've been ignoring everything! I haven't even really gone out on patrols in a week! I've just been going to this bar in town and drinking all night!" she confessed. "That's why I've been so irritable lately, because of my headaches! And on top of that, I drove my sister, my only blood relative, to... to do... _this_!"

Dawn was stuck in a moral trap. Should she tell Buffy why she _really_ cut herself? Or should she let Buffy believe that it _was _because of her lack of involvement in anyone's life, including Dawn's, that drove her to cut herself? Buffy would fix what she'd been doing, and everything might go back to normal, but she'd blame herself for Dawn getting hurt. For hurting _herself_. No. Dawn had to do the right thing.

"Buffy... I... I didn't cut myself... because of you..." Dawn replied hesitantly, and Buffy slowly looked up.

"Then... then why?" Buffy sniffled.

"Um... I... I just have some stuff going on that I needed to work out. But it's over now. Everything's fine now."

"No it's not. Dawn, you _cut_ yourself."

"Yeah I know. I was there."

"Dawn, what drove you to do it if it wasn't me? If it's really over, then it shouldn't matter whether I know or not. And if it's not over, I need to know. Maybe I can help you."

"No. This isn't something you can help with."

"So it's not over then." It wasn't a question, and Dawn realized her slip up.

Dawn sighed and looked away. Confession time. "No. No, it's not over. But I'm not going to cut myself again."

"You don't know that. If it's not over, then it's still hurting. And if it's still hurting, you might do it again, to take your mind off of the pain. And you might not get so lucky next time. Please, Dawn. Let me help."

Dawn whimpered. It _did_ still hurt. It hurt a lot. And the only one who could help was Faith, but she wasn't here, nor was she in the right position to help.

"Dawn. What's on your mind?"

"I... I'm... I'm in... I'm in love with... with..."

"With who?" Buffy asked, dreading the answer. If she was right, then Dawn may be right, and Buffy couldn't help. If it were Riley, or any of the other Scoobies, then Buffy had no chance of helping. And there was only a slim chance she could help if it was someone at school.

"I'm in love with Faith." Dawn confessed, sobbing like a baby, and it broke Buffy's heart to see it. What broke her heart even more was the fact that it was Faith. Faith was... Faith. And Faith was very much not into girls, especially girls much younger than herself.

"F... F-F-Faith?" Buffy stammered.

"See? You can't help. Faith would never be interested in me, even if she _was_ gay."

Buffy hugged Dawn close, as if she could keep the pain away just by hugging her.

"Faith, we need to talk." Buffy said, dragging Faith away from the bar.

"Hey, B? What the hell are you doin'? I'm at work!" Faith hissed, still reeling from seeing Dawn on the bathroom floor, covered in her own blood.

"Hey, Faith! Either show your girlfriend to the door or get her a drink, but get back to work!" Faith's boss shouted over the music.

"Shut up!" Buffy screamed back, and both Faith and the asshole boss jumped in surprise. "It's a family emergency!"

"Wait, is it Dawn?" Faith asked, suddenly very worried.

"Yes, but not about the cuts. Well, not _really_ about the cuts, but kind of related to that issue." Buffy explained, walking away, knowing Faith would follow.

"Um... Look, Jimmy... five minutes, okay?" Faith asked her boss, and he relented, afraid of the blonde woman that yelled. She sounded like someone he did NOT want to piss off.

"B, what's goin' on?" Faith asked when they were outside.

"It's... um... there's something you should know about Dawn. Something I just found out today myself when I went to visit her in the hospital."

"Wait, she's awake? Damn, 'bout time. After two days, you'd think she'd have woken up sooner."

"Yeah." Buffy agreed. "Anyway... I was talking to her, and it's been pointed out to me that I haven't really been involved in... well, anything lately. I'm going to change that now, but that's not why I'm here. Um... It's _why_ Dawn... did what she did."

"Oh yeah? She tell you that?"

"Yeah... Um... See, the thing is... Well, she's hurting. And not just from the cuts."

"Figured as much. She'd have to be for her to try somethin' like that."

"And... well... she's hurting... because... becasue of... you."

"What?!" Faith screamed, not liking what Buffy was implying.

"It's true. It's hurting her. You are, I mean."

"Fuck." Faith's heart shattered. "Well... are you serious?"

"Dead."

"Fuck..." Faith sat down on the sidewalk and buried her face in her hands. "Well... If... Damn... It's got to be because of Finch... I'll. If I'm hurtin' Dawn... I gotta go. I gotta leave. I can't keep hurtin' her. She's like a sister to me, and-"

"Actually,that's not why she's hurting. That last thing is."

"What?"

"She doesn't care about Finch. It's the sister thing. It hurts that you think of her as a sister."

"Why, 'cause I'm not?"

"No. Because she doesn't want to be your sister. Or your friend. She... She loves you, Faith."

"Well, I love her, too. She knows that."

"But not in the way she loves you. Faith, she's _in love_ with you."

Faith's jaw dropped in surprise. No. Surprise couldn't begin to cover what she was feeling.

"Wait... wha... huh? Dawn's... g... Dawn's into...?"

"Yeah. Dawn's in love with you, Faith. And you think of yourself as her sister. And you're not into girls. And even if you were, you'd only be interested in girls your age. Faith, this is way more than just some little sister having a crush on big sister's friends. This is more than a simple crush. She _cut_ herself because she can't have you."

Faith was now sobbing as much as Buffy had been earlier. How could she not have seen it? Ever since Faith had met the young girl, she'd been hanging on to her every last word, and following wherever they let her follow. Whenever Faith was in sight of the young brunette, her eyes never left the Slayer. It was obvious. It was too obvious. No one had seen it.

"Damn it! How the hell can we help her?! What the hell do we do about this?! No way Dawn's gonna agree to see a shrink about this! And I can't just fall in love with her! I'm not gay! I'm not bisexual! I'm fuckin' straight! And I'm a fuckin' whore!" Faith was shouting at the sky, and Buffy just pulled her into a hug, and they both cried into each other's shoulders.

"I don't know, Faith. I don't know." Buffy sobbed, and the words felt like boulders weighing on both of their hearts.

"Hey, Dawn." Faith said nervously when she visited Buffy's sister the next day.

"Oh. Hey, Faith." Dawn said, and felt the all too familiar urge to confess her feelings to her.

"Doc says that you can come home today. Luckily, the blood transfusions, or whatever the hell they're called, worked without a problem. Plus, looks like you've got some of B's Slayer healing after all. Doc says he's not really surprised. Ever since he's come to this town, he's handled a lot of wierd cases. Cases much wierder than you recoverin' so quickly from cu... cuttin' yourself."

"You're mad, too." Dawn realised.

"Damn right I am!" Faith snapped. "I'm mad. Buffy's mad. Red's mad. Xander's mad. Giles is mad. Hell, even Anya's mad. Dawn, you coulda killed youself! We could be plannin' your fuckin' _funeral_ right now! I get that you're a teenager, and that you're goin' through some kinda emotional problem things, but that's still no fuckin' excuse for doin' what you did."

"Buffy told you." Dawn guessed.

"Told me what?"

"About why I did it."

"Don't matter _why_ you did it. Point is, you did it. We almost lost you. You think _you're _hurtin' because you fell in love with someone you can't have? Imagine how the rest of us would feel if... if you were gone. We almost lost you. _I_ almost lost you!" Faith slumped into a chair beside her and sobbed again, tears of anger drenching her face. "Yeah. B told me. Told me that you're in love with me. Dawn, I know you think I'm hot, 'cause let's face it, I am. If I were into girls, I'd wanna fuck me, too. But I'm not a good person to fall in love with. I drink, a lot. I smoke, a lot. Occasionally, I do drugs. Don't tell B about that, but it's true. I get high once in a while. In the evenings, I work at a bar with tons of alcohol. I get my ass slapped every five seconds by some random douche bag who'd just as soon _rape_ me as leave me alone. I'm very violent, I've been abused most of my life, and I can die at any moment because of my other night job. On top of all that, I'm a fuckin' whore. I'll shag just about any guy who even makes the smallest attempt to seduce me if I'm horny. On top of that, I've killed a human. Sure, it was an accident, but there's no sayin' it won't happen again, 'cause it just might. A dark night, I can barely see, and I'm so caught up in slayin' a large group of vamps to save some human from bein' a midnight snack, and all of a sudden, I accidentally stake the person I'm tryin' to save 'cause I get surprised when he tries to thank me. It could happen, and I couldn't live with myself if it happened again. Dawn, forget about me. We're sisters. Not by blood, but we are. And that's all I can ever let us be. You just... you forget about me. Find yourself a nice guy, or girl, whichever you prefer. Find yourself someone to love who'll love you back, the way you'll love them. Get your heart broken a few times, but find a way to pick up the pieces and start over again. But forget about me."

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever, the only sounds were their sniffles as they cried.

"Faith, I can't forget about you." Dawn said finally, after her eyes had dried. "I've been trying for years now. I just can't forget about you. I... I love you."

"Well... Then I have to leave." Faith said, and Dawn choked on the breath she took.

"No!" Dawn screamed, and started struggling agaist the tubes sticking out of her to get up.

"Dawn, I have to. I can't keep hurting you just by being around you. I just can't do it. I love you too much. You and B, and even Willow are the closest things I've ever had, and ever will have, to being sisters. I can't stand the thought of hurting any of you."

"But if you leave, that'll hurt, too!"

"Yeah. But not as much as if I stayed. Trust me. I know how much it hurts to be so close to someone you love, someone you're in love with, and know they'll never return you're love." Faith's eyes showed her sadness, even through the faked smile she wore as a mask. And Dawn suddenly knew who she was talking about.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, and Faith's surprise confirmed it. "Oh, the irony. I would, naturally, fall for the girl who'd secretly fallen for my sister. That's rich. So that's why you see me as a sister."

"No. I mean yeah, that's part of it. But I felt like an older sister to you long before I fell in love with Buffy. I've always felt protective of you, Dawn. Same as Buffy does. But you see, I have to leave. For both you and me. If I stay, I'll not only be hurtin' you, but myself, too. It hurts me just as much to be around Buffy as it does you to be arond me. Can I show you something?" Faith asked.

Dawn nodded, and Faith pulled her shirt up so her stomach was showing, and Dawn saw a small scar across her stomach.

"Wha... What happened?"

"Remember a few months ago, Xander came to my apartment, and found me on the ground, bleedin'? Told everyone it was a vamp attack?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it wasn't a vamp. He found me there, and called an ambulance. He did me a favor and poked my neck a couple times to fake a vamp attack, so you guys wouldn't figure out what actually happened. But... It happened about two months after I met B. I fell for her, hard, and I'd never really loved anyone before, 'cept my first Watcher, Diana. But she was like a mom. B was... not. I fell in love with her. But she was head over heels for Angel still, even after she killed him. Well, then came the day I figured out he was back. I... um..."

"You cut yourself?" Dawn asked incredulously.

"No. No. I didn't just cut myself, like you did. You cut yourself to block out the pain. For me, the pain was too much. I tried to _kill_ myself. I took a knife from my kitchen, and I stabbed myself in the gut. As soon as I did it, though, I was scared. I instantly regretted it. I felt my blood spilling out on the floor... I felt myself dyin'. It was... It was scary. It was damned terrifyin'. Luckily, Xander was on his way over, 'cause Giles sent him. There was a new big bad in town, and G needed everyone to meet up for some research, and that included me. G didn't know my phone number, so he sent Xander instead. Xander found me, kept the knife in me so I wouldn't bleed out, and he wrapped me up tight the way I did you, and called the ambulance. He saved my life. I still have nightmares about that. It was really the only thing I've ever faced that scared me. That, and when I killed that man. Finch. Buffy was there for me, though. And that made me fall even harder for her."

Dawn's mouth was open in shock, and fresh tears were welling up in her eyes.

"You see? I know how you feel. And if you don't think you can get over me... well, I know I won't get over B. Not when I have to see her and her soldier boy damn near every day. I gotta leave. I... I can't stay."

"Faith... please, don't leave. I need you. Buffy needs you. We're your family."

"Yeah, well... I'll give it tonight. I'm tired. I gotta get some sleep, anyway. If, tomorrow, I'm magically over B, and you somehow get over me... I'll stay. If not, though... I'll leave." Faith didn't say another word before she left.

Buffy came and got Dawn to take her home an hour later.

Just as Faith's dreams were filled with Buffy, Dawn's were filled with Faith.

Dawn was awakened by a knock on her door.

"Dawn?" Buffy asked sadly, sticking her head in the door.

"Yeah?" Dawn yawned.

"Faith's here. She says she's fixing to leave, but she wants to say goodbye first." Dawn's eyes filled with tears already as Buffy spoke. "Dawn... I'm so sorry. I... I'll have Faith come up." She closed Dawn's door behind her. It opened again a minute later, Faith walking in and closing it once more.

"Hey, Dawnie." Faith said softly. "I'm... uh... I'm leavin' now. I... I can't just... you know... get over... you know... And I know you haven't gotten over me, either. So... I'm leavin'. I just came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye, then." Dawn said angrily, refusing to look Faith in the eye.

"Come on, Dawn. Don't do that. If this is the last time we see each other, I don't want to leave with you angry. That's not how I want to leave things."

Dawn sighed and turned to look at Faith.

"I... I'm leavin' in about ten minutes. Wanna beat the mornin' traffic. Um... Come here." Faith opened her arms to hug Dawn.

Dawn accepted the hug and pressed herself firmly against Faith, breathing in her scent, as if that would keep her there. Faith felt her chest getting wet with Dawn's tears.

"Come on, no tears, Dawnie. Please, no tears. Come on, I'll do anything. Just no tears."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Don't leave!"

"I have to. Anything but that. I'll do anything, just not stay. I can't stay."

"Well... then..." Dawn pulled away, unable to meet Faith's eyes.

"Dawn?"

"You said anything. Anything but staying. You'll do anything but stay?"

"Yeah. Anything else."

"Then... kiss me? Please. Kiss me?"

"Dawn..." Faith warned, knowing it would make it harder, knowing it would hurt Dawn more.

"Please? Just... Just once. Kiss me? You can pretend I'm Buffy. Please..." Dawn looked Faith in the eyes, and Faith knew she couldn't refuse her.

"Okay... Just once..." Faith didn't pretend it was Buffy she was leaning in to kiss. She knew it would hurt worse if she did.

Their lips met, and Dawn knew she made a mistake in asking Faith to kiss her. Because she couldn't stop. Dawn deepened the kiss, opening her mouth and begging Faith to open hers. Her arms wrapped around the taller girl, pulling her tighter and tighter.

Faith relented, letting Dawn explore her mouth, just once. Only once.

_In the movies, this is usually when the girl realises that this was the person she'd been in love with all along, not the sister._ Faith thought. But this wasn't a movie. Faith knew it was Buffy. It had always been Buffy. It would more than likely always be Buffy.

Dawn was sobbing into the kiss. She had hoped that Faith would kiss her, and fall in love with her. Forget about Buffy. And Faith would stay, and be hers. Everyone would be happy.

But Faith was hesitant with everything, and tense, and obviously not falling in love with Dawn. Finally, Dawn pulled away and watched as Faith walked away with not another word, or another glance. She threw herself onto her bed and screamed into her pillow, her screams growing louder as she heard Faith's car start and pull away.

Dawn knew she'd never see Faith again.

**So, sorry for the angsty-ness of this chapter. I was listening to a song on the radio yesterday, and this idea came to me. I don't remember what song it was, but it actually left me in tears. Well, this idea did, not the song, but the song inspired this oneshot.**


	11. Fuffy 8

**Eleven**

** Well, you guys keep asking for a truly happy ending to one of these, and I must admit, I'm kind of itching for one myself. Seems most of the BtVS stories I've read on this site, whether they're Faith/Buffy, Buffy/Willow, Faith/Willow, Buffy/Willow/Tara, or any other character pairings, all have either bittersweet endings or just plain bitter endings. Granted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is nothing but a bittersweet ending (please note that I am not attempting to lessen the complete and utter awesomeness of the series, I am a major fan of it, and it has become one of my favorite things in the entire world!), but I'd still like to have a happy ending for once. So, without further ado, here is the eleventh installment in the "First Kiss Oneshot Collection" by PercyJackson67 (a.k.a. ME!)**

**P.S. FUFFY FOREVER!**

When we both pulled back from the kiss, we were both grinning stupidly. We both looked like we won the lottery, I'm sure. It had been an accident... at first.

I was just walking around at the Magic Box, helping Giles out with sorting through the inventory. Faith was there, too, being no help what-so-ever. She was sitting at a table with her feet propped up on the table, and was polishing a wicked knife she had bought a few days ago. I was walking past her with this big heavy box Giles asked for. It was heavy, even with my Slayer strength.

My foot hit the leg of the table, and the box went soaring through the air, and I fell. Faith's instincts kicked in, and she was suddenly in front of me, ready to catch me as I fell. Her arms wrapped around me as I crashed into her. I fell down on top of her, and we both hit the ground. My momentum threw my head forward, and my face met hers. Our lips connected, and we froze in surprize.

I recovered first, but I felt how soft her lips are and, without thinking, I pressed my lips harder against hers. She blinked in surprize, then her grip around me tightened and she kissed me back.

Our mouths opened at the same time, and our tongues wrapped around each other in a tight embrace. The kiss felt like heaven. I would know. I've been to heaven before, and that's exactly what it felt like kissing Faith. Heaven.

After a few minutes, we heard someone clear their throat, and we pulled back, grinning like a couple of children that just got a couple of free lolipops. Giles was cleaning his glasses, and Willow and Xander stood, staring at us, with their mouths open wide in astonishment.

"B... You wanna get up off of me?" Faith asked, breaking the silence.

I didn't want to act bashful in front of anyone, like I usually do. I'm tired of dancing around my feelings for Faith. Normally, I'd have tried to pass this off as an accident, even though it actually was. But no. Not this time.

"Not really." I admit out loud, and Faith returns my grin.

"Good. Me, neither."

I leaned down and kissed her again, even more passionately than before.

Something fell down and broke, and when I turned to see what it was, I saw Dawn standing in the basement doorway. Giles had sent her downstairs a few minutes ago to get something, and now she was back. Just in time to see me kissing Faith.

"What the...?" Dawn said in shock.

"Oh. Hey, Squirt." Faith said so casually, like this happened every day. Then again, kissing her did feel as natural as breathing, so I can understand.

"Oh! Good!" Anya said out loud. "Now that the basement is not occuppied, Faith and Buffy can go downstairs and have hot and steamy lesbian sex!"

Okay, that one was over the line. That one even brought a red tinge to _Faith's_ face, and Xander dragged a now very confused Anya out the front door with his hand over her mouth to stifle any complaints or inquiries.

And now the visual came to mind. The very nice, very arousing visual.

"Sounds good to me." Faith joked, quiet enough that only we could actualy hear what she said, but everyone else could tell by the movement of her lips what she said, based on the context.

That's when I got up off the ground. Faith stood up soon after me and brushed herself off.

"Hey, try not to be so clumsy next time, B." Faith teased. Reality came rushing back to me as I recovered from my high, and I turned to walk away, morbidly embarassed.

Faith's hand wrapped around my right arm, though, and she pulled me back to her so our torsos were pressed firmly against each other.

"On second thought..." Faith said silently. "Maybe you bein' clumsy isn't so bad, after all." And she kissed me.

My entire body was left numb as electricity fired through me, bringing all of my senses into overdrive. My world was surrounded by Faith. The smell of her shampoo, the taste of her lips, the feel of her skin, and her hair, the sound of her harsh breathing as we kiss. I close my eyes to cut off one of my senses. I found myself moaning into the kiss, despite the presence of, well, pretty much everyone else.

Finally, we separated, gasping for air.

"B, please tell me this is, like, some kind of official thing." Faith said, her eyes pleading.

"What?" I asked.

"Is this, like, official, or somethin'? Or is this just somethin' we did once or twice, then went back to bein' friends?"

"Hmmm... let me think about that for a minute." I said teasingly as I leaned in to kiss her again. This one was short, but just as sweet and full of love as the others.

"So what's the verdict?" Faith joked, but I could tell she was worried.

"Jury voted unanimously in favor of 'girlfriend status'." I said, and her eyes lit up.

"I can work with that." She grinned.

"Giles, I think we're gonna skip on patrol tonight." I said out loud, and Faith and I walked out of the store together, her left arm draped around my shoulders, and my head resting on her left shoulder. I sigh, because I can't imagine anything that could make this day any better. And I know that this is finally what I've been looking for all my life. And I could tell all that from a kiss.

**Well, I think this'll be a good chapter to end on. Happy ending, and all that. Well, this is it, people the "First Kiss Oneshot Collection" is at its end, I hope you enjoyed them all, even the melancholic ones!**


End file.
